1
00:00:03,296 --> 00:00:05,924
[TN]
2
00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,847
I'm Taylor Fisher and I'm a bitch.
3
00:00:14,224 --> 00:00:19,312
Beauty, intelligence, talent,
charisma, Hoobastank.
4
00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:21,439
What? They're good.
5
00:00:22,524 --> 00:00:24,192
Indie rock trends do move fast.
6
00:00:24,359 --> 00:00:26,236
Today, my alarm is set
to the Drunges.
7
00:00:26,403 --> 00:00:28,405
[HOLY FUCK'S "FRENCHY'S"
PLAYING ON RADIO]
8
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:29,572
[MUSIC STOPS]
9
00:00:29,739 --> 00:00:31,574
But by the time
you actually watch this,
10
00:00:31,741 --> 00:00:33,993
they'll be headlining a toilet
in Toledo with mops.
11
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,579
Hey, bitch, that's not cool.
Eat cock!
12
00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:38,206
[GOLDFRAPP'S "OOl-I LA LA"
PLAYING]
13
00:00:38,373 --> 00:00:40,583
J' I need Ia, la, la, la, la, la J'
14
00:00:41,126 --> 00:00:42,460
J' I need ooh, Ia, Ia, la J'
15
00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:45,505
DON [ON VOICEMAIL] Hello, Taylor.
It's Don. Don Waters, again.
16
00:00:45,672 --> 00:00:48,508
We made out behind the Pizza Pitt.
You tasted the deep dish.
17
00:00:48,675 --> 00:00:50,510
Not deep enough.
18
00:00:51,428 --> 00:00:52,637
Get out of the bathroom.
19
00:00:52,804 --> 00:00:56,808
You're ruining my life, you **** ****
**** **** fucking Ecstasy baby!
20
00:00:56,975 --> 00:01:00,103
I'm peeing.
SINGE: Taylor, hi, Singe Gupta.
21
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,647
I very much liked our
calculus date at Pizza Pitt.
22
00:01:02,814 --> 00:01:07,152
Loser. Your parabolic graph
was bent and I only got a B.
23
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:10,029
French toast?
24
00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:12,198
Mom, I'm on a no-bread diet.
25
00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,242
Since when?
Since now!
26
00:01:14,409 --> 00:01:17,412
Oh, I hate you!
I hope you die!
27
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,166
MEGAN:
Taylor, what we did at Pizza Pitt...
28
00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:23,752
Word of advice,
there's always new toothpaste.
29
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:26,129
Don't swallow. Spit.
30
00:01:26,755 --> 00:01:29,507
J' I need ooh, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia N
31
00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:35,597
Cinderhella ll: Beauty Scream opened
this week at the Galaxy Pines Mall.
32
00:01:35,764 --> 00:01:38,933
If you're anyone who's anyone
in Grizzly Lake, you'll go see it.
33
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:42,312
Moscow Hyatt is my idol.
This brings me to something I call:
34
00:01:42,479 --> 00:01:44,272
[WAVVES' "WHEN WILL YOU COME"
PLAYING]
35
00:01:44,439 --> 00:01:47,984
Taylor Fisher's Guide
to Not Being a Total Reject.
36
00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:51,279
One, go see Cinderhella ll
on Friday night, loser.
37
00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:53,782
MOM: Taylor, honey, I'm leaving.
Hurry or we'll be late.
38
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:56,201
Mom, I'm doing something
important!
39
00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:58,077
Ugh! You're a monster!
40
00:01:58,244 --> 00:01:59,329
MOM:
I'll be in the car.
41
00:01:59,496 --> 00:02:01,664
TAYLOR:
Fuck a duck!
42
00:02:02,332 --> 00:02:05,001
Let me montage this
to speed things up.
43
00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:08,588
[TOBACCO'S "SUPERGUM"
PLAYING]
44
00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:10,173
[CAMERA CLICKS]
45
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:28,691
[VOMITING]
46
00:02:30,527 --> 00:02:31,611
[CAT SCREECHES]
47
00:02:31,778 --> 00:02:32,821
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
48
00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:34,697
What now?
49
00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:36,366
CINDERHELLA:
Love Pizza Pitt.
50
00:02:36,533 --> 00:02:37,617
TAYLOR:
Who are you?
51
00:02:37,784 --> 00:02:39,744
CINDERHELLA:
Your biggest fan.
52
00:02:39,911 --> 00:02:40,954
TAYLOR:
Rawr. Rad.
53
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,873
CINDERHELLA:
Bitch, going to kill you.
54
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,875
TAYLOR:
Okay Ugh.
55
00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:48,294
Stalkers are so 2011.
56
00:02:48,461 --> 00:02:51,381
Get out of my room, you pedophile!
57
00:02:51,548 --> 00:02:53,007
[TN]
58
00:02:56,386 --> 00:02:57,720
[TAYLOR GRUNTING]
59
00:03:03,268 --> 00:03:04,978
Where is she?
60
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,397
The girl gets away with everything.
61
00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:10,233
[SCREAMING]
62
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,902
[CAR ALARM BLARING]
63
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:18,241
[MOM SCREAMING]
64
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:27,584
Life sucks.
65
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:35,216
[TN]
66
00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:38,720
Nice. That's just awesome.
67
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:42,932
RILEY: I try to remember I'm
only the second-biggest loser
68
00:03:43,099 --> 00:03:44,434
to walk Grizzly Lake High.
69
00:03:44,601 --> 00:03:48,688
First place goes to the drunk slut
who screwed the dead mascot in 1992.
70
00:03:48,855 --> 00:03:51,441
[MONARCHY'S "YOU DON'T WANT
TO DANCE WITH ME" PLAYING]
71
00:03:51,608 --> 00:03:55,111
But the '90s are history. So am I.
72
00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:01,117
[CLOCK TICKING]
73
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:03,286
[TN]
74
00:04:11,461 --> 00:04:13,004
[MONARCHY'S "YOU DON'T WANT TO
DANCE WITH ME" PLAYING ON RADIO]
75
00:04:13,171 --> 00:04:14,505
Oh, my God, I love this song.
76
00:04:14,756 --> 00:04:16,716
[BUS DOOR OPENS]
77
00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:19,135
Shit!
78
00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:24,849
No, no, no, no. Oh!
79
00:04:27,936 --> 00:04:29,395
Shit.
80
00:04:32,941 --> 00:04:36,819
This is the fifth sighting of
mysterious objects over Grizzly Lake.
81
00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:40,823
Authorities speculate an elaborate
hoax perpetuated by high-school...
82
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:44,202
Dad, I forgot the bus leaves early
on Wednesdays. Can you drive me?
83
00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:45,870
Sure, hon.
84
00:04:46,788 --> 00:04:49,624
Nope, still drunk.
85
00:04:49,791 --> 00:04:51,960
[THE RAVEONETTES' "LUST"
PLAYING]
86
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:55,755
J' I fell out of heaven J'
87
00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:59,842
J' To be with you in hell J'
88
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,430
J' My sin 's not quite seven J'J'
89
00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:07,058
Yo, Heather Mills.
90
00:05:07,225 --> 00:05:10,603
You're robbing me?
I didn't even know Iceland had crime.
91
00:05:10,770 --> 00:05:12,981
Stop generalizing. I stole this shirt.
92
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:15,650
And the leather shoes?
Vegetarian?
93
00:05:15,817 --> 00:05:19,028
"Vegetarianism is the taproot
of humanitarianism." Tolstoy.
94
00:05:19,195 --> 00:05:21,572
Give me your iPod,
salad eater.
95
00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:26,869
It's a fucking shuffle.
I make 6.55 an hour.
96
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,580
Yeah. Thanks, anyway.
97
00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:31,791
I'm too old for this shit.
98
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:35,378
It's not my fault majoring
in Inuit Literature and Hipster Rock
99
00:05:35,545 --> 00:05:39,173
doesn't replenish your trust fund.
I listen to Aerosmith.
100
00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:43,177
J' Don '2' tread like me J'
101
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:46,514
[FRANKIE ROSE AND THE OUTS'
"DON'T TRED" PLAYING]
102
00:06:00,737 --> 00:06:02,405
[ANIMAL GROWLS]
103
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,075
[CLOCK TICKING]
104
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,248
[GRUNTS]
105
00:06:13,166 --> 00:06:15,251
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
106
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:18,421
[TN]
107
00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:24,177
Hey, Clapton.
Hey, Clapton.
108
00:06:24,677 --> 00:06:27,096
Hey.
Go left.
109
00:06:27,847 --> 00:06:31,267
Where is Clapton Davis?!
110
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:47,033
[GAGS]
111
00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:49,118
Other way.
112
00:06:50,286 --> 00:06:51,704
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
113
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,587
[GIRLS CHATTERING]
114
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:04,383
Who gave Riley the permission
to have the hots for Clapton?
115
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:07,261
Did falling off the ugly tree
knock a dream into her head?
116
00:07:07,637 --> 00:07:12,767
Why doom a win like Clapton Davis
to a life of missionary sex?
117
00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:20,650
[TOILET FLUSHES]
118
00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:23,111
CLAPTON:
Nice save, Truman.
119
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,321
Think you can hook me up
with Alexis at prom?
120
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,156
CLAPTON:
Yeah, no problem!
121
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:35,706
This bear's been deceased
since the Nixon Administration,
122
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:38,543
yet exerts
an extraordinary magnetic field.
123
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,295
[GRUNTING]
124
00:07:41,796 --> 00:07:45,675
Toshiba, you're either the smartest
kid in school or the weirdest.
125
00:07:45,842 --> 00:07:48,261
TOSHIBA:
Mimi, wait. Wait, Mimi. No.
126
00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,388
I know it looks like such a light-hearted,
127
00:07:50,555 --> 00:07:53,516
feel-good comedy
being an expecting teenage mom.
128
00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:57,937
Let me tell you something.
I've been principal at this school for five years.
129
00:07:58,104 --> 00:08:00,898
Let me tell both of you something.
130
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:05,570
Pregnant teenagers
are never funny. Ever.
131
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:08,072
I'm not pregnant.
132
00:08:09,282 --> 00:08:10,324
Cut the carbs.
133
00:08:11,701 --> 00:08:14,036
MAN [OVER PA]:
Attention, Grizzly Lake High.
134
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:16,455
Hey, Kayla.
KAYLA: Hey, Vicky.
135
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:17,707
VICKY:
Skank ho.
136
00:08:17,874 --> 00:08:21,377
Your vote for prom king and queen
is now due.
137
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:26,090
Winners win a Pizza Pitt coupon.
Go Grizzly.
138
00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:31,721
Tomorrow, the Grizzly Lake Bears will
play the Town Creek Beavers at pub.
139
00:08:31,888 --> 00:08:33,389
Hey, Clapton.
140
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,021
lone, did you tell Billy about us?
141
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:45,026
Clapton, the small guy always beats
the invincible killing machine.
142
00:08:45,193 --> 00:08:46,819
You're my Pat Morita.
143
00:08:46,986 --> 00:08:48,738
Isn't he dead?
144
00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:50,489
Duck.
145
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:58,539
CLAPTON:
Verge.
146
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,709
Get a life, punk.
147
00:09:01,876 --> 00:09:03,419
This is ugly.
148
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:23,898
Three o'clock. Parking lot.
149
00:09:24,065 --> 00:09:27,610
Winner wins lone. Loser wins...
150
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,279
lone?
Shutup!
151
00:09:30,446 --> 00:09:35,076
Just make sure your dumb ass
is there, dumb-ass!
152
00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:36,619
[BILLY GRUNTS]
153
00:09:36,786 --> 00:09:38,496
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
154
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:47,421
Really, Clapton? If you're
gonna get your limbs ripped off,
155
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,548
find a more worthy charity
than lone.
156
00:09:49,799 --> 00:09:51,259
Lone likes Sting.
157
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:54,595
Clapton Davis,
you are more concept than reality.
158
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:58,224
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
159
00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:04,355
SANDER: I just mean that it looks
like Clapton 's gonna ask out lone,
160
00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:07,900
which makes about as much sense
as that stupid movie Torque.
161
00:10:08,067 --> 00:10:09,986
So, what do you think
about you and me?
162
00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:12,405
Have you even thought about prom?
163
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:15,491
Hey, Sander. I saw your dad's
dick on Chatroulette last night.
164
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,368
Yes, Sander, I'm a girl.
165
00:10:17,535 --> 00:10:20,246
Forget about genocide,
poverty and political corruption.
166
00:10:20,413 --> 00:10:23,082
What could possibly be on
my girl mind other than prom?
167
00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:24,667
CLAPTON:
Totally right, lone.
168
00:10:24,834 --> 00:10:28,546
Sting is the Bruno Mars of 1992.
IONE: You're so funny.
169
00:10:28,713 --> 00:10:31,882
Why do you think I'd go with him?
No reason.
170
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:36,595
Have you ever noticed that
we have compatible facial features?
171
00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:41,517
Ew.
Riley, don't delay the inevitable.
172
00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:44,562
You know in three days,
we're gonna be prom dates
173
00:10:44,729 --> 00:10:46,939
and the sex and shame
will be fleeting.
174
00:10:47,106 --> 00:10:48,649
Look, get off my nuts, all right?
175
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,944
Hey, Riley, I don't wanna hear
about your testicles.
176
00:10:52,111 --> 00:10:54,613
The assignment is simple.
You're a smart girl.
177
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:58,034
Use what you've learned this semester
about quantum physics
178
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,495
and build me a time machine
so I can get out of here.
179
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,956
[TN]
180
00:11:04,749 --> 00:11:07,877
So hot.
Sander, we have to finish this.
181
00:11:08,044 --> 00:11:09,837
SANDER: Then stop messing
with that bear claw.
182
00:11:10,004 --> 00:11:11,839
I took it from the mascot.
Strange.
183
00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:14,717
Someone wired this with organic,
super-conduction Mimis--
184
00:11:14,884 --> 00:11:16,886
MagMimis-- Magnets.
God.
185
00:11:17,053 --> 00:11:19,472
Come on. Toshiba, I mean,
look at Clapton's.
186
00:11:20,306 --> 00:11:23,851
It's got a clock-looking thing, okay?
I wanna pass this course.
187
00:11:24,018 --> 00:11:27,355
Then do something. If I fail science,
I'm stuck with you next year
188
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,648
in the Remedial History
of the Jelly Bean.
189
00:11:29,815 --> 00:11:31,734
I love jelly beans.
Slacker.
190
00:11:31,901 --> 00:11:33,235
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
191
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:35,738
That's hilarious.
What is it?
192
00:11:35,905 --> 00:11:38,324
I don't know.
It looks like a bong.
193
00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:42,078
[FIRE ALARM RINGING]
194
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,080
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
195
00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:46,248
Well, Clapton,
196
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,417
I'm wet.
197
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:57,259
Mm-hm.
198
00:11:59,804 --> 00:12:00,930
Uh...
199
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,358
[SIGHS]
200
00:12:13,109 --> 00:12:14,777
I get it.
201
00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:18,114
Listening to your loud music.
Tripping out to Fraggle Rock.
202
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:22,493
But the question is,
what does the future hold
203
00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:24,954
for Clapton Davis?
204
00:12:25,121 --> 00:12:27,998
Well, I am starting
my own music site.
205
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:30,501
Mm.
It'll list new releases and review albums
206
00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:32,461
from bands
that nobody has heard of.
207
00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:35,423
If they have, I'll dismiss them
with scathing comparisons
208
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,383
to avant-garde folk rockers.
Mm.
209
00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:39,593
Everything is graded on
a 100-point scale.
210
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,387
No place for feedback.
Excellent.
211
00:12:41,554 --> 00:12:45,808
Readers can bitch on their Twitters.
Good taste is not a democracy.
212
00:12:47,393 --> 00:12:50,187
And this pays what, 13.5 a year?
213
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,441
Free Costello tickets.
214
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:04,952
Do you think that I am
teaching students out of love?
215
00:13:06,704 --> 00:13:08,330
[WHISPERS]
I'm not.
216
00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:12,835
[IN NORMAL VOICE] It's your
senior year and your GPA is...
217
00:13:13,002 --> 00:13:14,920
It's a disgrace.
218
00:13:15,463 --> 00:13:18,549
But I'd rather not see you
back here next fall.
219
00:13:18,716 --> 00:13:21,927
Give me an excuse
to graduate you.
220
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:23,929
Impress me.
221
00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:27,850
Get an A. Save a small country.
Something.
222
00:13:28,017 --> 00:13:29,393
Anything-
223
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,896
Otherwise, get expelled
224
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:36,650
with the lowest grades
in Grizzly Lake history.
225
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,071
Does Home Ec count?
226
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:44,033
Get your shit together, son.
227
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:51,707
I make 40 g's a year, plus dental.
You may not have a Skittle.
228
00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:57,505
[FIRE ALARM RINGING]
229
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,798
Thanks, Mr. Kendall.
230
00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:04,386
[SIGHS]
231
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:07,473
Uh, Princess!
lone.
232
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:11,727
Looks like Taylor's absent. You'll be head
cheerleader for the Grizzly Lake Bear playoff game.
233
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:12,937
[SQUEALS]
234
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,563
Don't do that.
235
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,148
You there!
236
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:18,400
Riley.
Sure you are, Crutches.
237
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,486
You'll have to be
the Grizzly Lake bear.
238
00:14:20,653 --> 00:14:22,696
Mascot? Ow!
239
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:26,492
Wearing the bear suit is a privilege
enjoyed by a few. Put it on.
240
00:14:26,659 --> 00:14:28,452
Time to get serious, dude.
241
00:14:28,619 --> 00:14:30,412
[RILEY GRUNTING]
242
00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,498
Is this real fur?
That goes for you too.
243
00:14:32,665 --> 00:14:35,084
Don't you mess this up!
I won't, Mr. Cooper.
244
00:14:35,251 --> 00:14:38,671
You're as funny
as Bronson Pinchot. Heh, heh.
245
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,798
Let me hear you growl!
246
00:14:40,965 --> 00:14:42,591
Attack! Rawr.
247
00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:44,260
[GROWLING]
248
00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:45,594
Typecast.
249
00:14:48,556 --> 00:14:50,766
[ON RADIO]
J' Everybody dance now J'
250
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:54,812
[C C MUSIC FACTORY'S "GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT
(EVERYBODY DANCE NOW)" PLAYING ON RADIO]
251
00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:58,607
J' Everybody dance now J'
252
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,947
One and two! Feel it, whoo!
253
00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:06,532
That's the spirit, lone.
254
00:15:06,699 --> 00:15:10,119
I was wondering when Freedom
Williams would make a comeback!
255
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:12,329
J' Give me the music N
256
00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:15,165
RILEY:
Rawr.
257
00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:21,797
F in dodgeball too.
BOY: You suck!
258
00:15:24,425 --> 00:15:25,634
Road House?
259
00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:29,179
Patrick Swayze didn't get Kelly Lynch
without ripping some throats first.
260
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:32,933
I need to study if I'm gonna fight Billy.
You can't be planning on fighting him.
261
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,310
[GRUNTS]
262
00:15:34,852 --> 00:15:38,856
Three o'clock, Clapton!
You're fucking dead!
263
00:15:39,023 --> 00:15:42,151
Well, I guess he still likes lone.
Huh.
264
00:15:42,318 --> 00:15:45,112
Never underestimate the appeal
of stupid, cute things.
265
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:49,074
The girl's a moron. But you don't--?
You don't have a thing for her, do you?
266
00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:53,495
Sander, lone's an old soul trapped in
a very painfully hot cheerleader body.
267
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:57,207
She knows the "Fields of Gold" lyrics.
Every little thing she does is magic.
268
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,376
Believe it.
I believe in things I can see.
269
00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:01,670
I believe in violence.
270
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:06,425
I believe in trees,
mortgages and albinos.
271
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,429
Wet T-shirt.
272
00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:13,223
Patrick Swayze was only
an action star for three years.
273
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:17,561
Steven Seagal is a lifelong Buddhist
and a deadly master of aikido.
274
00:16:17,728 --> 00:16:20,314
Wrong. Mullet beats ponytails.
275
00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:24,735
Red shirt.
276
00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:30,866
What if that innocent cow
was your son?
277
00:16:32,451 --> 00:16:34,370
Or your daughter?
278
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:38,624
Now, scientists don't know
whether fish feel pain,
279
00:16:38,791 --> 00:16:43,420
so some vegetarians
still eat salmon and stuff.
280
00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:48,884
But do you know how much pigs
or, like, veal suffer?
281
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:52,888
Is the only reason they live
just to be killed?
282
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:54,640
Meat is murder!
283
00:16:56,392 --> 00:16:57,851
[STUDENT COUGHS]
284
00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,270
MaclNTIRE:
Nice work, Riley.
285
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:04,274
Now, for the counter-argument,
we turn to Gord.
286
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,568
Gord is our Canadian
exchange student
287
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:09,071
from Lunenburg, Nova Scotia,
288
00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:12,408
where I hear the salmon
is delicious.
289
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:13,617
Gord?
290
00:17:13,784 --> 00:17:18,080
Yes, I'd like to start off by saying
that this girl's argument is ridiculous.
291
00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:21,125
Vegetarians who eat fish
are hypocrites.
292
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:24,753
She thinks because fish may feel
no pain, they don't value their lives.
293
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:29,299
Absurd. And notice how she expresses
almost no sympathy for chickens.
294
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:30,759
That's because
Americans
295
00:17:30,926 --> 00:17:31,969
hate chickens.
296
00:17:32,136 --> 00:17:35,097
For example,
KFC serves popcorn chicken
297
00:17:35,264 --> 00:17:38,809
to assure the customers that
the chicken was blown to bits,
298
00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:42,604
yet the meatball sub at Subway
isn't called "popcorn cow."
299
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:45,274
Americans want chickens to die!
300
00:17:45,441 --> 00:17:48,485
Lame! Personally,
I do feel sympathy for animals,
301
00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:51,613
which is why I choose
to only eat baby animals.
302
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:54,700
They have not lived as long
and are not leaving as much behind.
303
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:59,329
Baby clams, chicken wings,
baby seals, no big loss.
304
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:02,624
If we don't eat meat,
we lose our place in the food chain.
305
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:05,419
Eating animals gives us confidence
as humans.
306
00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:09,173
Vegetarians like this girl,
who is only wearing one shoe
307
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,467
have less confidence
than everybody else.
308
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,719
Thank you, class. Ms. Maclntire.
309
00:18:13,886 --> 00:18:16,096
MaclNTIRE:
Very well researched, Gord.
310
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,640
And, yes, it's true.
311
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:22,603
Teenagers need self-confidence.
312
00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:25,063
[TN]
313
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:35,657
Clamato: the only animal-mammal
beverage at the grocery store.
314
00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:40,287
Which is too bad, because I could
really go for some carbonated dolphin.
315
00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:42,164
Why must you interrupt
my solitude
316
00:18:42,331 --> 00:18:45,417
in the worst day of the worst life
in Grizzly Lake history?
317
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:48,504
You're not the girl who fucked a bear.
That was 20 years ago.
318
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:50,506
And she was a pervert.
I'm a mascot.
319
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:53,342
It's one rank lower
on the social ladder.
320
00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:56,136
It's true.
I've been thinking about stuff.
321
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,805
Nudity, mostly.
322
00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,556
You know, we don't talk much,
323
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:03,060
but I like to believe we've been
sort of friends for a while.
324
00:19:03,227 --> 00:19:05,229
Arguable, but not outlandish.
325
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:09,525
Okay, this human-conversation thing
is not working for you. Let's text.
326
00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:12,528
RILEY:
You better not sext me.
327
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:14,988
SANDER:
Not interested in the rules.
328
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:16,365
Yeah, I figured.
329
00:19:16,532 --> 00:19:19,493
Courtship, social ethics,
what people think.
330
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:22,371
Very true. You're right.
Fdsjaflskdfjalf.
331
00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:23,747
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
332
00:19:23,914 --> 00:19:26,041
Sorry, that was for Clapton.
What the frig!
333
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,960
You know what?
Let's get it over with.
334
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:30,254
Let's have sex.
I'm only gonna say this once.
335
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:33,215
Do not become the bad guy
in the pregnancy-scare video.
336
00:19:33,382 --> 00:19:37,386
Playful banter is just a sign
of a healthy, caring communi-- Hold on.
337
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,471
[LAUGHS]
338
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:43,392
If you go sit somewhere else, we can
maybe go back to being sort of friends.
339
00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:51,984
Mind if I sit here?
Free country.
340
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,322
[GRUNTS]
341
00:19:58,282 --> 00:20:00,075
[STUDENTS LAUGHING]
342
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,246
[TN]
343
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:14,965
Every day, you and I stand in
this hallway and no one notices.
344
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:21,179
We're just hollow and useless
345
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,558
and stuffed full of crap
nobody will ever see.
346
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,896
I know who you are.
347
00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:32,107
You're me.
348
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,527
Well, let's go.
349
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:40,157
I mean, "Gonna Make You Sweat"?
350
00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:43,660
They let her get away
with making that look cool?
351
00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:46,955
And then I'm beaten by a Canadian
on the ethics of eating animals,
352
00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:50,709
which makes no sense because
Canadians are supposed to be nice.
353
00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:53,462
See you, Clapton Davis.
354
00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:55,631
Hope my soundtrack
comes out on vinyl.
355
00:20:58,508 --> 00:21:00,344
[CHOKING]
356
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,444
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
357
00:21:23,367 --> 00:21:24,618
[SIGHS]
358
00:21:31,625 --> 00:21:33,669
[GRUNTING]
359
00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:37,506
[TN]
360
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,345
[SCREAMING]
361
00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:54,147
[RILEY SCREAMS]
362
00:21:58,568 --> 00:22:00,862
[RILEY COUGHING]
363
00:22:02,114 --> 00:22:03,407
[RILEY CHOKING]
364
00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:12,541
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
365
00:22:21,174 --> 00:22:23,135
[SCREAMS]
366
00:22:23,927 --> 00:22:25,971
[CROWD CHATTERING]
367
00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:30,225
Little dudes like you get worked.
368
00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:32,811
Let's see your teeth.
For dental records.
369
00:22:32,978 --> 00:22:36,273
Yeah, the next time you go
to the dentist and look at an x-ray,
370
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:40,360
it will be a picture
of your head flying off.
371
00:22:40,736 --> 00:22:43,905
Shit. Get that molar.
Somebody's trying to kill me!
372
00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:45,657
Join the club.
373
00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:47,743
Get out of my face,
dude.
374
00:22:47,909 --> 00:22:51,413
Leave him alone, Nolan. We get it.
Your dick is bigger, all right?
375
00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:52,748
Wait, how do you know?
376
00:22:52,914 --> 00:22:55,667
Clapton, you're my Ralph Macchio.
Do the crane thing.
377
00:22:56,418 --> 00:22:59,254
I like you, lone,
but you're really weird.
378
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:01,381
If your face hurts my fist,
379
00:23:02,090 --> 00:23:04,092
I will punch you again harder.
380
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:06,261
[SIREN WHOOPS]
381
00:23:08,263 --> 00:23:11,558
Everyone take a step back.
Hang on! I was here first.
382
00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:13,351
Listen up, folks.
383
00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:15,645
Your classmate Taylor Fisher
384
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:17,939
was murdered in her bedroom
this morning.
385
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:21,068
What?
I know this comes as a shock.
386
00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:23,487
We're gonna need to speak
to some of you in turn.
387
00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:27,449
I was just attacked!
Sure you were, honey.
388
00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:31,078
[CROWD CHATTERING]
389
00:23:37,626 --> 00:23:40,212
The violent death of 17-year-old
Taylor Fisher
390
00:23:40,378 --> 00:23:42,214
has shaken the town
of Grizzly Lake.
391
00:23:42,380 --> 00:23:44,674
Fisher, a beloved
Bears cheerleader,
392
00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:48,011
was getting ready for school this
morning when an intruder stabbed--
393
00:23:48,178 --> 00:23:50,639
Jason Lawrence said
he saw blue lights in the sky
394
00:23:50,806 --> 00:23:53,850
and then mysteriously was
compelled to eat three cans of tuna,
395
00:23:54,017 --> 00:23:55,727
a food he typically hates.
396
00:24:03,151 --> 00:24:04,194
[SIGHS]
397
00:24:31,138 --> 00:24:32,347
[SNIFFLES]
398
00:24:34,182 --> 00:24:36,434
Fuck everybody.
399
00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:42,190
[SCREAMING]
400
00:24:42,357 --> 00:24:44,234
[TN]
401
00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:54,578
[SCREAMS]
402
00:24:56,872 --> 00:24:58,123
[GRUNTING]
403
00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:04,546
[YELLS]
404
00:25:07,382 --> 00:25:08,466
[SCREAMS]
405
00:25:13,722 --> 00:25:14,890
[GRUNTING]
406
00:25:26,234 --> 00:25:27,736
[GRUNTING]
407
00:25:28,486 --> 00:25:30,238
[SOBBING]
408
00:25:41,917 --> 00:25:44,085
[SWINGS CREAKING]
409
00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:50,592
[BARKING]
410
00:25:53,762 --> 00:25:55,597
[SCREAMING]
411
00:26:12,155 --> 00:26:16,368
You ever do any rave drugs?
A rave? What is this, 1996?
412
00:26:16,534 --> 00:26:18,620
This attacker you're
describing, Ms. Jones,
413
00:26:18,787 --> 00:26:21,164
sounds just like that horror film.
Cinderhella.
414
00:26:21,331 --> 00:26:22,832
Scream.
415
00:26:22,999 --> 00:26:25,168
Cinderhella is only a movie.
It can't hurt you.
416
00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:27,712
You know that?
I don't know. See the first one?
417
00:26:27,879 --> 00:26:30,882
You're under the belief that
she attacked you? Cinderhella?
418
00:26:31,049 --> 00:26:33,301
Look, I am not a retarded
Neve Campbell, okay?
419
00:26:33,468 --> 00:26:35,428
Obviously, it was someone
dressed like her.
420
00:26:35,595 --> 00:26:39,140
You nuked the fridge with that one.
I'm sorry. I don't speak fanboy.
421
00:26:39,307 --> 00:26:43,270
Call if anything else comes to mind
or happens to you.
422
00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:46,147
Yeppers, I'll be sure to call you
when I'm murdered.
423
00:26:46,314 --> 00:26:50,402
RAN DAZZO: Hey.
A girl at your school is dead, for real.
424
00:26:50,568 --> 00:26:52,153
Think about that.
425
00:26:53,029 --> 00:26:55,490
Iron Man. Now, that's a movie.
426
00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:57,742
Iron Man was fucking PG-13.
427
00:26:57,909 --> 00:27:00,996
Does this sound fucking PG-13
to you?
428
00:27:01,162 --> 00:27:02,998
Worst motive ever.
429
00:27:08,837 --> 00:27:11,256
What, you think
I'm making this up?
430
00:27:12,465 --> 00:27:15,760
Come on, Riley,
there's nobody else here.
431
00:27:19,597 --> 00:27:21,057
Show me.
432
00:27:21,641 --> 00:27:23,476
[TN]
433
00:27:23,643 --> 00:27:26,855
Whoever's trying to kill me knows
that Cinderhella is a huge cliché.
434
00:27:27,022 --> 00:27:29,107
They know I know
nobody would believe me.
435
00:27:29,482 --> 00:27:31,860
It's a conspiracy
to get everyone to think
436
00:27:32,027 --> 00:27:35,822
I'm a total loser making pre-emptive,
mid-'90s pop references.
437
00:27:35,989 --> 00:27:38,074
Yeah, it's all coming
to an end anyways.
438
00:27:38,241 --> 00:27:40,243
Translation?
Our lives
439
00:27:41,161 --> 00:27:43,955
This summer everyone in
Grizzly Lake is going to college
440
00:27:44,122 --> 00:27:47,000
to incubate their degrees,
get knocked up at a kegger
441
00:27:47,167 --> 00:27:49,711
and come back here to populate
one of these homes
442
00:27:49,878 --> 00:27:53,465
with tiny little versions of themselves.
These are our final days.
443
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,216
Turn.
444
00:27:57,052 --> 00:27:59,721
What about your whole
music-criticism thing?
445
00:27:59,888 --> 00:28:04,142
You'll beat the odds.
You always do, Clapton Davis.
446
00:28:04,309 --> 00:28:07,562
Billy wants to eBay pieces of my face
and Verge is gonna fail me
447
00:28:07,729 --> 00:28:09,647
unless I get an A
or save the universe.
448
00:28:09,814 --> 00:28:12,442
Both equally
improbable scenarios.
449
00:28:12,984 --> 00:28:14,027
Duck.
450
00:28:15,195 --> 00:28:18,323
You know, the whole cynic act
doesn't really fit on you.
451
00:28:18,490 --> 00:28:19,908
Can't change anything.
452
00:28:20,075 --> 00:28:23,411
Now is all we got. It's not cynicism.
I think now is pretty rad.
453
00:28:23,578 --> 00:28:27,332
Except one girl's dead and the other's
waiting for the noose to tighten.
454
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,418
No.
455
00:28:30,877 --> 00:28:34,506
I'm talking about now,
me and you.
456
00:28:34,672 --> 00:28:37,967
Look around.
What don't you see?
457
00:28:39,427 --> 00:28:40,804
Cinderhella?
458
00:28:42,931 --> 00:28:44,474
Lone.
459
00:28:44,933 --> 00:28:47,102
Get over yourself. Seriously.
460
00:28:47,268 --> 00:28:49,396
My cast comes off tomorrow.
461
00:28:49,938 --> 00:28:53,358
Wanna take me dancing?
Heh. Clapton don't dance.
462
00:28:53,525 --> 00:28:56,319
Right, unless lone's playing Oasis.
463
00:28:56,486 --> 00:28:58,655
More Grizzly Lake kids
were conceived to Oasis
464
00:28:58,822 --> 00:29:02,325
than any other Beatles cover band.
Definitely Maybe is British Rohypnol.
465
00:29:02,742 --> 00:29:04,327
Eyes glazing
466
00:29:06,788 --> 00:29:09,582
I made plans to see a movie
with lone tomorrow night.
467
00:29:10,458 --> 00:29:12,919
Make room for a third wheel.
468
00:29:16,881 --> 00:29:18,675
[TRAIN HORN
BLARES IN DISTANCE]
469
00:29:18,842 --> 00:29:20,844
[TN]
470
00:29:22,637 --> 00:29:23,638
[SOBBING]
471
00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:26,307
Cinderhella, please. No.
472
00:29:26,474 --> 00:29:29,060
Why are you crying?
473
00:29:29,519 --> 00:29:32,647
This is the happiest night of your life.
You're prom queen.
474
00:29:32,814 --> 00:29:36,901
It didn't mean anything, okay?
I swear. It was just sex.
475
00:29:37,068 --> 00:29:41,197
Oh, no, Wendy.
It was the worst kind of sex.
476
00:29:41,364 --> 00:29:42,490
Premarital.
477
00:29:42,657 --> 00:29:45,034
I won't tell anyone, I swear.
Just let me go.
478
00:29:45,201 --> 00:29:48,163
I'll let you go,
but only if the glass slipper fits.
479
00:29:48,329 --> 00:29:51,374
It's deep inside
your lower abdomen.
480
00:29:51,541 --> 00:29:54,043
WENDY: Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
481
00:29:54,210 --> 00:29:58,173
If you take longer than two minutes,
it'll be a whole new crown of thorns.
482
00:30:00,383 --> 00:30:02,343
Start digging-
483
00:30:03,052 --> 00:30:04,387
Clock's ticking.
484
00:30:04,637 --> 00:30:06,473
[SCREAMING]
485
00:30:06,639 --> 00:30:08,099
[LAUGHING]
486
00:30:08,266 --> 00:30:10,393
Oh, God!
487
00:30:13,188 --> 00:30:14,522
Say cheese.
488
00:30:15,190 --> 00:30:18,109
MAN 1: If you wanted to take pictures,
you should have stayed at home.
489
00:30:18,276 --> 00:30:21,279
Eat my shorts, jerk.
MAN 1: I'll murder you, bitch.
490
00:30:21,446 --> 00:30:22,530
"Eat my shorts"?
491
00:30:22,697 --> 00:30:25,825
There's always some dickweed
trying to spoil people's fun.
492
00:30:26,117 --> 00:30:28,995
This film is gnarly.
Gnarly.
493
00:30:29,746 --> 00:30:33,500
It's not fair. I've been doing
Pilates all senior year.
494
00:30:33,666 --> 00:30:36,002
My stomach muscles
are too tight to dig through.
495
00:30:36,169 --> 00:30:39,297
Oh, Wendy,
why didn't you think about that
496
00:30:39,464 --> 00:30:43,635
before you offered Scott
your after-school special?
497
00:30:43,801 --> 00:30:45,970
WENDY: Aah!
Cinderhella is a moralist.
498
00:30:46,137 --> 00:30:48,681
This is probably the best movie
since Volcano.
499
00:30:48,848 --> 00:30:52,477
And the award for most vapid
film review of the century goes to...
500
00:30:52,644 --> 00:30:54,896
Can you try being nice?
Clapton's with me.
501
00:30:55,063 --> 00:30:57,815
Quit being a space cadet.
I don't like Clapton.
502
00:30:58,274 --> 00:31:00,235
I don't care.
MAN 2: White people, shut it!
503
00:31:00,401 --> 00:31:02,987
But you know he's my own
Michael Keaton, right?
504
00:31:03,154 --> 00:31:05,406
Will you give it up
with your '90s obsession?
505
00:31:05,573 --> 00:31:07,784
1992 was, like,
the coolest year ever.
506
00:31:07,951 --> 00:31:11,204
Speaking of which, nice plagiarism
on your debate with the Canadian.
507
00:31:11,371 --> 00:31:12,747
"Meat is murder"?
508
00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:15,542
Everyone knows Morrissey's
Kill Uncle was better.
509
00:31:15,708 --> 00:31:17,293
Is it?
You're such a nimrod.
510
00:31:17,460 --> 00:31:18,920
WOMAN:
Will you stop talking?
511
00:31:19,087 --> 00:31:21,464
We have rules of conduct.
Your ticket's a contract.
512
00:31:21,631 --> 00:31:23,800
MAN 1: Shut up, lumberjack!
What is the contract?
513
00:31:23,967 --> 00:31:26,928
There's to be no illegal photography
inside of Galaxy Cinemas.
514
00:31:27,095 --> 00:31:29,639
That is not the way
a capitalist society functions.
515
00:31:29,806 --> 00:31:31,933
When you take photography
inside of cinemas,
516
00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:35,395
you take money from carpenters
trying to feed their families.
517
00:31:35,562 --> 00:31:37,188
Closing statement?
Um...
518
00:31:37,355 --> 00:31:38,439
Silence is compliance.
519
00:31:40,733 --> 00:31:43,027
[WENDY SOBBING ON SCREEN]
520
00:31:46,823 --> 00:31:47,949
[SCREAMING]
521
00:31:49,117 --> 00:31:52,203
[OVER SPEAKERS]
J' They're gonna eat me alive N'
522
00:31:53,037 --> 00:31:55,707
IONE:
Do the math, baby. Taylor was hot.
523
00:31:55,873 --> 00:31:57,000
I was watching Smurfs.
524
00:31:57,166 --> 00:31:59,168
Neve Campbell was hot.
Jamie Lee Curtis?
525
00:31:59,335 --> 00:32:01,838
I just BitTorrented Avatar.
I'd get jiggy with it.
526
00:32:02,005 --> 00:32:05,341
Rephrase this for me, lone.
Your glamazon logic is too advanced.
527
00:32:05,508 --> 00:32:08,011
They look nothing like Smurfs.
Riley. As if.
528
00:32:08,177 --> 00:32:10,054
You're not banging enough
to be murdered.
529
00:32:10,221 --> 00:32:12,473
They're blue.
Plus, you live in a bungalow.
530
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,726
Slasher-film heroines
live in McMansions.
531
00:32:14,892 --> 00:32:16,311
CLAPTON:
They don't look alike.
532
00:32:16,477 --> 00:32:20,189
Wow, that was 70 percent appalling
and 30 percent really perceptive.
533
00:32:20,648 --> 00:32:24,485
BT-dubs, Cinderhella is my stalker.
Definition, "stalker":
534
00:32:24,652 --> 00:32:26,321
[VOICE READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]
535
00:32:29,324 --> 00:32:30,658
lone makes a compelling case.
536
00:32:30,825 --> 00:32:33,953
If someone were to be slashed
and killed, I'd vote for her.
537
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,164
You're all that and a bag of chips,
Clapton.
538
00:32:36,331 --> 00:32:39,083
It's not like Taylor Fisher
won a popularity contest.
539
00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:42,587
She was murdered. You guys are
watching bimbos-get-tortured porn
540
00:32:42,754 --> 00:32:45,548
to feed some music-video director's
coke habit.
541
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:47,508
Taylor died because she had it all.
542
00:32:47,675 --> 00:32:50,011
She was the most popular girl.
Nobody hated her.
543
00:32:50,178 --> 00:32:52,347
I'd hide in a sporting-goods store
if zombies attacked.
544
00:32:52,513 --> 00:32:55,850
Correction: She was the most
popular girl. Everybody hated her.
545
00:32:56,017 --> 00:32:58,436
Costco.
FYI, lone, you can't be the hero.
546
00:32:58,603 --> 00:33:00,980
No zombie memberships.
Scream queens are virgins.
547
00:33:01,147 --> 00:33:04,942
Riley does have superhero
impenetrability on her side.
548
00:33:05,109 --> 00:33:07,278
Donald Waters.
549
00:33:08,237 --> 00:33:10,281
He said "an anaconda"
and "ice cube."
550
00:33:10,448 --> 00:33:12,367
I thought he was asking me to
551
00:33:12,533 --> 00:33:15,036
watch a movie.
552
00:33:15,662 --> 00:33:19,415
Waters? That's gross.
Cuts virginity out of the equation.
553
00:33:20,041 --> 00:33:21,918
Cinderhella wants to kill me more.
554
00:33:22,085 --> 00:33:25,296
I'm hot. Your house sucks.
You lose.
555
00:33:28,591 --> 00:33:31,886
Do you think Clapton would
say yes if I asked him out?
556
00:33:32,053 --> 00:33:34,514
Riley, you have to do it.
557
00:33:34,681 --> 00:33:36,808
You two have been
best friends forever.
558
00:33:36,974 --> 00:33:38,726
Hey, Clapton.
GIRL: Hey, Clapton.
559
00:33:38,893 --> 00:33:40,937
[FRANKIE ROSE AND THE OUTS'
"CANDY" PLAYING]
560
00:33:41,104 --> 00:33:43,523
He can ride me like that unicycle.
561
00:33:43,690 --> 00:33:45,233
J' Candy J'
562
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,402
You fartknocker!
563
00:33:47,568 --> 00:33:50,405
J' Candy N'
564
00:33:52,156 --> 00:33:54,951
COOPER: Taylor Fisher was a
paradigm of human excellence.
565
00:33:55,702 --> 00:33:57,662
Terrible shame
this has to happen.
566
00:33:57,829 --> 00:33:59,205
Yeah.
Yeah.
567
00:33:59,956 --> 00:34:03,084
Problem with kids today, they don't
know how to channel aggression.
568
00:34:03,251 --> 00:34:06,254
Football! That's the way.
569
00:34:06,421 --> 00:34:08,423
Otherwise,
they're dreaming of girls
570
00:34:08,589 --> 00:34:11,467
and end up in prison
on rape charges.
571
00:34:11,968 --> 00:34:13,010
Yeah.
572
00:34:13,177 --> 00:34:17,473
They close the school to let us grieve,
and everyone shows up at the mall.
573
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,392
These people
make me sick.
574
00:34:19,559 --> 00:34:22,603
Remember, there's a costume
party later at my place.
575
00:34:24,313 --> 00:34:26,274
Ready for the big game tonight,
coach?
576
00:34:26,441 --> 00:34:28,776
Always ready for football!
577
00:34:29,736 --> 00:34:31,946
You're dead, Clapton.
578
00:34:34,907 --> 00:34:36,200
Gotta fled.
579
00:34:37,535 --> 00:34:39,328
I gotta pick up prom tickets.
580
00:34:39,495 --> 00:34:40,830
But what about Taylor?
581
00:34:40,997 --> 00:34:42,749
COOPER:
Run, blond gal, run!
582
00:34:42,915 --> 00:34:45,585
Hotel for Dogs
is on cable soon.
583
00:34:51,549 --> 00:34:53,551
[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]
584
00:34:56,971 --> 00:34:59,182
I guess the rumors
that you don't trim are true.
585
00:34:59,348 --> 00:35:02,435
Taking nude photographs
with little kids is sick.
586
00:35:02,643 --> 00:35:04,479
[ALL CHEERING]
587
00:35:05,438 --> 00:35:08,649
COOPER: Here we go! Let's play some football!
Bust some heads!
588
00:35:08,816 --> 00:35:11,152
Let's break some hands!
Break a claw!
589
00:35:11,319 --> 00:35:13,029
Take it in!
590
00:35:14,572 --> 00:35:16,657
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
591
00:35:17,325 --> 00:35:20,912
Watch 32. Set. Hut!
592
00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:23,873
[PANTING]
593
00:35:26,417 --> 00:35:28,044
[GRUNTING]
594
00:35:28,628 --> 00:35:30,546
Nolan, I'm open.
What the fuck?
595
00:35:30,713 --> 00:35:33,216
COOPER: Let go of the goddamn ball!
What the--?
596
00:35:34,217 --> 00:35:35,802
What the hell do you think--?
597
00:35:38,179 --> 00:35:40,014
[BOTH GRUNT]
598
00:35:40,723 --> 00:35:42,642
COOPER: What are you doing?
I'm sorry.
599
00:35:42,809 --> 00:35:44,852
Booger! Get off!
COOPER: Come on, Nolan.
600
00:35:45,019 --> 00:35:46,521
Get in the game!
BILLY: I'm trying!
601
00:35:47,188 --> 00:35:48,940
What is that?
COOPER: Get off the bear!
602
00:35:49,106 --> 00:35:50,483
You saw nothing.
603
00:35:51,025 --> 00:35:54,195
Nothing! Shut up!
604
00:35:54,362 --> 00:35:55,363
[BILLY VOMITS]
605
00:35:55,530 --> 00:35:56,781
Nolan, you all right?
606
00:36:00,368 --> 00:36:01,702
Ow.
607
00:36:03,454 --> 00:36:07,792
COOPER: What the hell do you think--?
What is that? Goddamn it!
608
00:36:08,793 --> 00:36:11,462
BILLY: Get out of here!
RILEY: Billy, hold on a sec.
609
00:36:12,088 --> 00:36:15,341
You resolve all your boy troubles
in the men's room?
610
00:36:15,508 --> 00:36:17,718
Why are you gonna fight Clapton?
So junior high.
611
00:36:17,885 --> 00:36:20,054
All that juicing
is freaking you out
612
00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:21,597
Juicing?
613
00:36:21,764 --> 00:36:25,560
Does this look like steroids to you?
614
00:36:26,269 --> 00:36:29,605
Yeah, nice biceps. You're a freak!
615
00:36:29,772 --> 00:36:31,232
[BOTH GRUNT]
616
00:36:31,399 --> 00:36:33,943
You wanna know the story
of the real Billy Nolan?
617
00:36:34,527 --> 00:36:36,404
Your eyes are bloodshot,
you vomit acid
618
00:36:36,571 --> 00:36:39,240
and your brain is scrambled
from all the football hits.
619
00:36:39,407 --> 00:36:41,450
Sure, lay it on me.
620
00:36:42,910 --> 00:36:47,331
I have fly blood in my veins.
621
00:36:47,498 --> 00:36:49,458
I'm a freak.
622
00:36:54,130 --> 00:36:55,715
BILLY:
Robot dog.
623
00:36:59,302 --> 00:37:00,845
Billy, I told you 100 damn times.
624
00:37:01,012 --> 00:37:03,431
Get that dog out of here
when I'm watching the set.
625
00:37:03,598 --> 00:37:05,349
He's blocking the game.
626
00:37:05,516 --> 00:37:07,602
[TN]
627
00:37:08,060 --> 00:37:09,937
Why does he hate me?
628
00:37:11,063 --> 00:37:13,065
[WHOOSHING IN DISTANCE]
629
00:37:19,363 --> 00:37:20,865
[EXPLOSION]
630
00:37:21,032 --> 00:37:22,116
Wow.
631
00:37:32,752 --> 00:37:33,794
[SIZZLES]
632
00:37:33,961 --> 00:37:36,297
[SCREAMING]
633
00:37:38,424 --> 00:37:41,135
MR. NOLAN:
All I have in the world is my TV set.
634
00:37:41,928 --> 00:37:44,555
Never take this off, boy.
635
00:37:44,972 --> 00:37:48,643
No one can know
that my son's a freak.
636
00:37:49,060 --> 00:37:52,980
KIDS [CHANTING]:
TV hand! TV hand! TV hand!
637
00:37:53,147 --> 00:37:55,232
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
638
00:37:55,399 --> 00:37:56,776
Hike!
639
00:37:58,194 --> 00:38:02,323
KIDS [CHANTING]:
TV hand! TV hand! TV hand!
640
00:38:02,490 --> 00:38:04,408
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
641
00:38:04,575 --> 00:38:06,452
[BILLY SCREAMING]
642
00:38:15,836 --> 00:38:18,255
[BOTH GRUNT]
643
00:38:18,923 --> 00:38:21,092
[BOTH GRUNTING]
644
00:38:22,927 --> 00:38:24,637
[GIRL SCREAMING]
645
00:38:25,221 --> 00:38:27,974
And that's exactly
how I remember it.
646
00:38:28,140 --> 00:38:30,559
You have got to cut down
on the protein shakes.
647
00:38:30,726 --> 00:38:34,313
Get lost! You don't know shit!
If you fight Clapton, I'll tell everyone.
648
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:36,440
You think they give trophies
to larvae?
649
00:38:37,316 --> 00:38:39,652
My hand.
Come on!
650
00:38:39,819 --> 00:38:41,487
I'm trying.
651
00:38:41,654 --> 00:38:43,072
Billy, we really need to talk.
652
00:38:45,616 --> 00:38:48,077
Is this when I'm supposed to say,
"How could you?"
653
00:38:48,244 --> 00:38:50,830
Am I supposed to say,
"it's not what it looks like"?
654
00:38:50,997 --> 00:38:52,873
What, are you two fucking?
655
00:38:58,504 --> 00:38:59,839
[GRUNTS]
656
00:39:01,215 --> 00:39:04,135
[CROCODILES' "I WANNA KILL"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
657
00:39:04,301 --> 00:39:06,762
Welcome to the Sandersons'.
Don't speak more loudly
658
00:39:06,929 --> 00:39:10,349
than you would at your home.
If you have to go number one, go outside.
659
00:39:10,516 --> 00:39:13,436
If it's number two, you go home.
660
00:39:18,899 --> 00:39:20,943
Why'd you tell me
this was a costume party?
661
00:39:21,110 --> 00:39:24,071
Because it is.
662
00:39:24,238 --> 00:39:25,948
Fag.
663
00:39:26,157 --> 00:39:28,034
Who are you supposed to be,
Super Mario?
664
00:39:28,659 --> 00:39:29,994
Angela Chase.
665
00:39:30,161 --> 00:39:32,121
She of the So-Called Life,
Claire Danes?
666
00:39:32,288 --> 00:39:35,416
If it wasn't on men's curling,
I probably haven't seen it.
667
00:39:35,791 --> 00:39:39,628
We're the least cool people here.
No, speak for yourself.
668
00:39:39,795 --> 00:39:41,672
I'm dressed as
Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
669
00:39:41,839 --> 00:39:44,425
Setting off some pheromones.
670
00:39:44,592 --> 00:39:46,886
I thought you were an ice skater.
671
00:39:47,762 --> 00:39:50,056
Do you like fish sticks?
Oh, my God!
672
00:39:50,222 --> 00:39:52,641
In Canada, people drink
what they bring to the party.
673
00:39:52,808 --> 00:39:56,437
This whole Marxist alcohol
partition thing is new to me.
674
00:39:56,604 --> 00:39:59,273
I like to mooch the good stuff.
675
00:39:59,732 --> 00:40:04,361
So Canada, eh?
676
00:40:04,528 --> 00:40:07,782
Is it true you guys
never lock your doors?
677
00:40:09,950 --> 00:40:11,118
[SIGHS]
678
00:40:11,285 --> 00:40:14,455
[CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]
679
00:40:14,622 --> 00:40:16,791
J' I want to kill tonight J'
680
00:40:16,957 --> 00:40:21,212
J' I want to kill tonight N'
681
00:40:27,635 --> 00:40:29,929
[THE KILLS' "U.R.A. FEVER"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
682
00:40:30,096 --> 00:40:32,723
Suck it, bitches.
683
00:40:34,642 --> 00:40:36,519
Gag.
684
00:40:37,478 --> 00:40:39,146
J' Find a piece of silver J'
685
00:40:39,313 --> 00:40:40,606
J' Pretty as a diagram J'
686
00:40:40,773 --> 00:40:41,982
J' Go down to the Rio J'
687
00:40:42,149 --> 00:40:43,651
J' Put it in my left hand J'
688
00:40:43,818 --> 00:40:45,152
J' Put it in a fruit machine J'
689
00:40:45,319 --> 00:40:48,614
J' Everyone's a winner J'
J' Laughin' like a seagull J'
690
00:40:48,989 --> 00:40:50,282
[GROANS]
691
00:40:51,450 --> 00:40:54,203
I have no witty retort to that.
692
00:40:54,411 --> 00:40:58,040
Just kiss me and make sure
Clapton sees that shit.
693
00:40:58,207 --> 00:41:00,042
Engage.
Ew.
694
00:41:01,168 --> 00:41:03,587
I am fever! Whoo!
695
00:41:03,838 --> 00:41:07,383
I hope you're having
as much fun as us, Clapton.
696
00:41:07,550 --> 00:41:09,093
As much fun as Billy had?
697
00:41:11,053 --> 00:41:14,014
If your mind is being controlled
by Wrath of Khan slugs,
698
00:41:14,181 --> 00:41:17,685
I just want you to know
that I am cool with it.
699
00:41:18,769 --> 00:41:19,812
Mm.
700
00:41:19,979 --> 00:41:22,982
J' Take you to a jukebox J'
J' That's the situation J'
701
00:41:23,149 --> 00:41:25,067
Let's dance, Sander,
702
00:41:25,234 --> 00:41:28,320
because Clapton don't dance.
703
00:41:28,487 --> 00:41:31,282
J' Left, right, left, right
Keep it up, son J'
704
00:41:31,448 --> 00:41:34,076
J' Go ahead and have her
Go ahead and leave her J'
705
00:41:34,243 --> 00:41:36,620
J' You only ever had her
When you were a fever J'
706
00:41:36,787 --> 00:41:39,248
[SQUAWKING]
707
00:41:41,458 --> 00:41:42,835
BOY 1:
Not awesome.
708
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:45,963
[SQUAWKS]
709
00:41:49,550 --> 00:41:50,593
[SANDER SQUAWKING]
710
00:41:50,759 --> 00:41:52,803
J' I am a fever, I am a feverJ'
711
00:41:52,970 --> 00:41:55,306
J' I ain't born typical J'J'
712
00:41:56,182 --> 00:41:57,433
I think I'm gonna barf.
713
00:41:59,393 --> 00:42:00,811
Your bra hooked my ring.
714
00:42:00,978 --> 00:42:04,231
Don't stretch my suspenders.
These overalls are vintage 1994.
715
00:42:04,398 --> 00:42:07,401
This is a limited-edition
LeVar Burton Starfleet pinkie ring.
716
00:42:07,568 --> 00:42:10,196
I had to eat Whole Wheat Crackles
for a year to get one.
717
00:42:10,362 --> 00:42:12,406
Creeper. Beam off!
Trust me.
718
00:42:12,865 --> 00:42:14,074
[SANDER SQUAWKS]
719
00:42:15,451 --> 00:42:17,036
BOY 2:
That dude has tits.
720
00:42:17,411 --> 00:42:18,704
Finally happened for me.
721
00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:23,334
Clapton Davis!
722
00:42:23,500 --> 00:42:25,085
[COLOURMUSIC'S "YES!"
PLAYING]
723
00:42:25,252 --> 00:42:28,005
Tonight will prove my theory
724
00:42:29,298 --> 00:42:31,800
that lone won't go to prom
725
00:42:32,384 --> 00:42:34,470
with someone
who has been murdered!
726
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:38,807
Go on, Clapton. I believe in you.
727
00:42:38,974 --> 00:42:42,311
How about you use that motivational
speech to talk Billy out of it?
728
00:42:42,478 --> 00:42:44,480
He's not gonna stop
until you step up.
729
00:42:44,897 --> 00:42:46,982
You just have to lay down the law.
730
00:42:47,608 --> 00:42:49,151
What if I lay down in pain?
731
00:42:49,318 --> 00:42:52,905
Remember, Clapton,
pain don't hurt.
732
00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:56,659
Red shirt. Damn.
733
00:42:56,825 --> 00:42:58,619
J' Moving along J'
734
00:42:58,786 --> 00:42:59,828
All right, Billy.
735
00:43:00,621 --> 00:43:02,122
Clapton Davis.
736
00:43:03,290 --> 00:43:05,459
You are not as much of a pussy
as I thought.
737
00:43:05,626 --> 00:43:08,629
Do you wanna do this the easy way?
What's the easy way?
738
00:43:09,296 --> 00:43:13,550
Stop being so smart, all right?
You're dead either way.
739
00:43:13,717 --> 00:43:16,470
Well, thank you
for explaining my op-- Unh!
740
00:43:16,971 --> 00:43:19,473
J' Gonna change my world
Gonna let it go J'
741
00:43:20,307 --> 00:43:21,433
Thank God that's not me.
742
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,852
Goal!
743
00:43:24,812 --> 00:43:27,022
[BOTH GRUNTING]
744
00:43:30,818 --> 00:43:32,111
[CHUCKLES]
745
00:43:32,278 --> 00:43:33,862
J' Gonna love my life J'
746
00:43:34,029 --> 00:43:36,740
J' Gonna love my life
Gonna love my life J'
747
00:43:36,907 --> 00:43:39,702
J' Gonna give it up
Gonna give it up J'
748
00:43:39,868 --> 00:43:41,495
[YELLS]
749
00:43:51,005 --> 00:43:52,506
It's go time, Clapton.
750
00:43:52,673 --> 00:43:54,633
Shut up, lone!
751
00:43:55,384 --> 00:43:57,594
It's no wonder
I broke up with you.
752
00:43:57,761 --> 00:43:59,596
Clapton Davis is a genius!
753
00:43:59,763 --> 00:44:04,310
Would you go back in time to punch
Benjamin Franklin and Spike Lee too?
754
00:44:04,476 --> 00:44:06,186
CROWD:
Ooh!
755
00:44:06,395 --> 00:44:08,731
Get out of my face, ho!
756
00:44:08,897 --> 00:44:12,901
And you lied to me. It is not normal for
people's semen to glow in the dark.
757
00:44:13,068 --> 00:44:16,363
Billy, she never saw my semen,
I swear to God.
758
00:44:16,989 --> 00:44:19,158
J' Everything I love
ls everything I am J'
759
00:44:19,325 --> 00:44:24,455
I cannot believe you just said that
in front of all these people.
760
00:44:26,707 --> 00:44:27,750
Did I Win?
761
00:44:28,459 --> 00:44:31,754
J' Everyone I meet
ls everything I am J'
762
00:44:31,962 --> 00:44:33,255
[BILLY GRUNTING]
763
00:44:34,715 --> 00:44:37,968
J' Gonna love the machine
Gonna love the machine J'
764
00:44:38,135 --> 00:44:39,261
[VOMITS]
765
00:44:39,428 --> 00:44:40,721
J' Gonna kiss your mouth J'
766
00:44:40,888 --> 00:44:43,390
J' Gonna kiss your mouth
Gonna kiss your mouth J'
767
00:44:43,557 --> 00:44:44,767
J' Gonna give you love J'J'
768
00:44:45,225 --> 00:44:46,518
[GRUNTING]
769
00:44:46,727 --> 00:44:49,730
[THE RAVEONETTES' "ALY, WALK
WITH ME" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
770
00:44:58,739 --> 00:45:00,366
What the--?
771
00:45:01,909 --> 00:45:04,161
Why don't you take a picture, homo?
772
00:45:04,370 --> 00:45:06,372
[TN]
773
00:45:09,917 --> 00:45:14,421
Stop messing with my buzz!
774
00:45:18,133 --> 00:45:20,177
[BILLY GRUNTING]
775
00:45:27,101 --> 00:45:30,020
MAN [ON TV]: This shocking footage was
recorded by a witness earlier today.
776
00:45:30,187 --> 00:45:32,231
Be warned,
the images here are disturbing.
777
00:45:34,274 --> 00:45:35,275
[CLUCKS]
778
00:45:37,444 --> 00:45:39,780
[SCREAMING]
779
00:45:46,453 --> 00:45:48,414
How you feeling?
780
00:45:48,789 --> 00:45:50,791
Well, my vision's diagonal,
781
00:45:50,958 --> 00:45:53,293
I can't breathe
without thinking about it,
782
00:45:53,460 --> 00:45:55,921
I can hear
other people's thoughts
783
00:45:56,088 --> 00:45:58,090
and it looks like
you're eating meat.
784
00:45:58,257 --> 00:46:01,468
Other than that,
tip-top shape.
785
00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:06,306
Not only do I eat meat,
but I am now a porno star.
786
00:46:07,307 --> 00:46:09,643
Parties are so full
of self-discovery.
787
00:46:09,810 --> 00:46:11,145
Moo-licious.
788
00:46:12,980 --> 00:46:15,190
[CROWD SCREAMING]
789
00:46:30,956 --> 00:46:33,792
Being a mascot is a proud tradition.
790
00:46:33,959 --> 00:46:36,503
You represent the honor
of Grizzly Lake High.
791
00:46:36,670 --> 00:46:38,547
When you take oh'
that bear costume,
792
00:46:38,714 --> 00:46:41,675
you should walk like your body
is still covered in fur.
793
00:46:41,842 --> 00:46:45,888
The video of your mammary gland
794
00:46:46,054 --> 00:46:50,517
was viewed 20,000 times
on the Internet.
795
00:46:50,684 --> 00:46:52,019
YouTube?
National Zoology.
796
00:46:52,186 --> 00:46:54,605
Can I throw up?
It's also in the news.
797
00:46:54,771 --> 00:46:57,316
Billy Nolan is killed
in the same video.
798
00:46:57,483 --> 00:46:59,860
Who taught you how to make
a snuff porno? Lady Gaga?
799
00:47:00,152 --> 00:47:03,822
Wait. Are you guys
accusing me of something?
800
00:47:08,076 --> 00:47:10,829
Your nipple was exposed
for seven whole seconds.
801
00:47:10,996 --> 00:47:14,041
Is that why two of my brightest
students were killed?
802
00:47:14,208 --> 00:47:15,542
For seven seconds of video?
803
00:47:15,709 --> 00:47:17,377
Did you all watch it?
I didn't.
804
00:47:17,544 --> 00:47:19,296
Why not?
805
00:47:19,463 --> 00:47:23,217
I am giving everybody implicated
as being anywhere near Billy Nolan
806
00:47:23,383 --> 00:47:26,011
on that tape
Saturday detention.
807
00:47:26,303 --> 00:47:28,388
Tomorrow?
Tomorrow.
808
00:47:28,555 --> 00:47:30,807
Tomorrow is prom.
This is murder.
809
00:47:31,141 --> 00:47:36,396
And porn. There's a killer in Grizzly Lake
who is affiliated with people at my school.
810
00:47:36,563 --> 00:47:40,651
Detention is in the library.
It goes from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.
811
00:47:40,817 --> 00:47:43,654
That's right through prom.
812
00:47:43,820 --> 00:47:45,989
I thought Saturday detention
was a myth.
813
00:47:46,156 --> 00:47:47,950
Mm. So was ice-skater porn.
814
00:47:50,327 --> 00:47:51,411
[COUGHING]
815
00:47:54,873 --> 00:47:56,416
[GRUNTING]
816
00:48:02,506 --> 00:48:05,467
Riley, don't ever degrade yourself.
817
00:48:05,759 --> 00:48:08,303
Don't let them make you think
that you're not valuable.
818
00:48:08,845 --> 00:48:10,931
Mr. Kendall--
Respect your body.
819
00:48:12,432 --> 00:48:15,936
This is just
a big misunderstanding.
820
00:48:16,395 --> 00:48:21,316
A wise man once said that we're all
a bunch of big misunderstandings.
821
00:48:22,401 --> 00:48:24,278
His name was Deepak Chopra.
822
00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:30,909
What difference does it make now?
I'm just...
823
00:48:32,953 --> 00:48:35,455
I'm just a stupid porn star.
824
00:48:37,332 --> 00:48:38,959
No, Riley.
825
00:48:40,127 --> 00:48:44,006
You're a beautiful girl whose
voice just needs to be heard.
826
00:48:46,675 --> 00:48:47,968
[SOBBING]
827
00:49:06,653 --> 00:49:08,864
I'm a porn star.
828
00:49:09,990 --> 00:49:11,700
Young.
829
00:49:12,576 --> 00:49:14,369
Hot.
830
00:49:14,703 --> 00:49:16,038
Porn.
831
00:49:18,749 --> 00:49:20,292
We just need
to take a moment
832
00:49:20,459 --> 00:49:25,672
to look into each other's eyes
and center our chakra.
833
00:49:26,173 --> 00:49:28,383
You're looking for
something deeper.
834
00:49:28,550 --> 00:49:32,512
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
I like older guys.
835
00:49:32,679 --> 00:49:35,641
Like age 36,
836
00:49:35,807 --> 00:49:38,852
or 39 or 35 or something.
837
00:49:40,062 --> 00:49:41,688
Riley.
838
00:49:43,357 --> 00:49:45,025
That's right.
839
00:49:45,859 --> 00:49:48,862
There's always a new way
of looking at each other.
840
00:50:03,335 --> 00:50:05,837
[TN]
841
00:50:45,210 --> 00:50:51,133
J' Things are not what they seem J'
842
00:50:55,303 --> 00:51:01,935
J' Every time that we meet J'
843
00:51:06,189 --> 00:51:10,986
J' You never understood me J'
844
00:51:11,153 --> 00:51:13,739
J' My friend J'
845
00:51:15,782 --> 00:51:18,368
J' Sun is setting now J'
846
00:51:18,535 --> 00:51:23,415
J' We've reached the end N'
847
00:51:23,582 --> 00:51:25,167
[BEAR GROWLS]
848
00:51:26,001 --> 00:51:27,669
[TN]
849
00:52:01,578 --> 00:52:04,080
VERGE:
Okay, suspects.
850
00:52:04,247 --> 00:52:07,667
Tell me who the killer is,
and I'll let you go home
851
00:52:07,834 --> 00:52:09,211
and go to your little prom.
852
00:52:10,045 --> 00:52:11,087
Taylor Fisher.
853
00:52:11,254 --> 00:52:12,881
I don't believe you.
854
00:52:13,048 --> 00:52:16,343
We have rights. You can't
lock us up without evidence.
855
00:52:16,968 --> 00:52:20,514
This isn't jail.
856
00:52:21,056 --> 00:52:22,849
It's detention.
857
00:52:26,436 --> 00:52:28,438
[BOTH SIGH]
858
00:52:38,156 --> 00:52:41,618
Well, we can rule out Gord.
859
00:52:41,785 --> 00:52:43,995
Canadians don't kill
outside their home country.
860
00:52:44,162 --> 00:52:46,039
Yeah, well,
we can count Sander out too.
861
00:52:46,206 --> 00:52:49,626
Nolan was chopped up with an ax.
Ever seen Sander try to swing a bat?
862
00:52:49,793 --> 00:52:50,919
I was sick that day.
863
00:52:51,086 --> 00:52:55,048
You have the arms of an anemic spider monkey.
Definitely not you.
864
00:52:55,215 --> 00:52:57,217
Well, Mimi probably
isn't the killer either.
865
00:52:57,384 --> 00:52:59,427
Her only death comes
from a makeup kit.
866
00:52:59,594 --> 00:53:01,263
We can take Toshiba off the list.
867
00:53:01,471 --> 00:53:03,557
Huh? Why?
Because you're you.
868
00:53:03,723 --> 00:53:04,766
[LAUGHS]
869
00:53:04,933 --> 00:53:06,601
And it's definitely not Claptonia.
870
00:53:06,768 --> 00:53:09,729
Those two couldn't be apart
long enough to coordinate a killing.
871
00:53:09,896 --> 00:53:11,940
That, with lone
gnawing through boyfriends
872
00:53:12,107 --> 00:53:14,943
like an unfed piranha,
makes me think you're both innocent.
873
00:53:15,110 --> 00:53:16,528
Um, thanks?
874
00:53:16,695 --> 00:53:19,698
You've gone out with, what?
Five guys these past three years?
875
00:53:19,865 --> 00:53:22,909
'90s makeover aside, you're not
reflexive enough to hold a grudge.
876
00:53:23,118 --> 00:53:25,412
And crippling gimpitude
saves your ass.
877
00:53:25,579 --> 00:53:27,873
Having a broken leg is for losers,
you idiot.
878
00:53:28,248 --> 00:53:30,542
All right, then that settles it.
It's Toby T.
879
00:53:30,709 --> 00:53:32,294
Why is it me?
Just fess up, Toby.
880
00:53:32,460 --> 00:53:35,755
So I can get out of here, and won't
have to listen to this windbag.
881
00:53:35,922 --> 00:53:38,550
Take one for the team.
You guys barely even know me.
882
00:53:38,717 --> 00:53:40,135
That's kind of the problem.
883
00:53:40,302 --> 00:53:42,762
It writes psychotic killer
all over your face.
884
00:53:43,305 --> 00:53:46,933
IONE: Mimi is just too obvious
with the rebellious clown makeup,
885
00:53:47,100 --> 00:53:48,310
her hippie parents hate.
886
00:53:48,476 --> 00:53:50,437
My parents aren't hippies.
887
00:53:50,604 --> 00:53:52,731
Are you all assholes?
Uh, I'm not.
888
00:53:52,898 --> 00:53:55,775
Look, guys, it's obvious
I have no ties to Billy and Taylor.
889
00:53:55,942 --> 00:53:57,444
Same school, same food chain.
890
00:53:57,611 --> 00:53:59,988
How could you,
strange, unknown quiet guy?
891
00:54:00,155 --> 00:54:02,115
I'm not a killer, I'm just boring.
892
00:54:02,282 --> 00:54:03,783
Toby, you're right.
893
00:54:03,950 --> 00:54:07,454
It can't be any of us.
We're not anguished enough.
894
00:54:07,621 --> 00:54:09,915
Our generation has had
no major struggles.
895
00:54:10,081 --> 00:54:11,708
What about 9/11?
Afghanistan?
896
00:54:11,875 --> 00:54:12,959
Iraq.
Katrina.
897
00:54:13,126 --> 00:54:15,045
Heath Ledger. What?
898
00:54:15,211 --> 00:54:16,254
Too soon?
899
00:54:16,796 --> 00:54:19,424
The hell do Katrina and the Waves
have to do with it'?
900
00:54:19,591 --> 00:54:22,344
Katrina the hurricane.
Wikipedia it, bitch.
901
00:54:22,510 --> 00:54:26,723
It's spelled "encyclopedia,"
slutbag.
902
00:54:27,641 --> 00:54:29,476
Who's the guy in the hoodie?
903
00:54:30,852 --> 00:54:33,647
My name is Elliot Fink.
904
00:54:33,813 --> 00:54:34,981
I didn't see you.
905
00:54:35,148 --> 00:54:37,067
Nobody really sees me.
906
00:54:37,233 --> 00:54:38,318
[TN]
907
00:54:38,485 --> 00:54:42,572
I've had detention every day
for the last 19 years.
908
00:54:42,739 --> 00:54:44,658
Nineteen years?
The hell did you do?
909
00:54:44,824 --> 00:54:48,954
I, uh... I don't remember.
910
00:55:01,424 --> 00:55:03,301
J' When I grow up
I wanna be famous J'
911
00:55:03,468 --> 00:55:05,387
J' I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies J'
912
00:55:05,553 --> 00:55:07,389
J' When I grow up
I wanna see the world J'
913
00:55:07,555 --> 00:55:09,432
J' Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies J'
914
00:55:09,599 --> 00:55:12,852
J' When I grow up
Be on TV, people know me N'
915
00:55:13,019 --> 00:55:17,315
J' Don '2' look at me that way J'
916
00:55:19,526 --> 00:55:24,364
J' It was an honest mistake N
917
00:55:24,531 --> 00:55:26,199
J' In the club, bottle full of bub J'
918
00:55:26,366 --> 00:55:28,952
J' Mama, I got what you need
If you need to feel a buzz J'
919
00:55:29,119 --> 00:55:31,371
J' I'm into having sex
I ain't into making love J'
920
00:55:31,538 --> 00:55:34,290
J' So come give me a hug
If you into getting rubbed J'
921
00:55:34,457 --> 00:55:36,668
J' You can find me in the club
Bottle full of bub J'
922
00:55:36,835 --> 00:55:39,546
J' Mama, I got what you need
If you need to feel a buzz J'J'
923
00:55:39,713 --> 00:55:43,633
J' Everybody, yeah J'
924
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:48,096
J' Rock your body, yeah J'
925
00:55:48,263 --> 00:55:54,060
J' Everybody, rock your body right J'
926
00:55:55,478 --> 00:55:57,564
J' Backstreet's back, all right N
927
00:55:57,731 --> 00:56:01,818
J' What they want
They never want it again J'
928
00:56:01,985 --> 00:56:08,074
J' When they get what they want
They never want it again J'
929
00:56:08,241 --> 00:56:12,370
J' Go on, take everything
Take everything J'
930
00:56:12,537 --> 00:56:13,955
[THUNDER CRASHING]
931
00:56:14,122 --> 00:56:16,791
J' I want you to
Go on, take everything J'
932
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,461
J' Take everything
I dare you to J'
933
00:56:19,627 --> 00:56:21,880
J' I told you from the start N'
934
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:26,509
GIRL: Took a dump on the
windshield of Woodruff's Cadillac.
935
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:28,428
Only got a week.
936
00:56:28,595 --> 00:56:31,264
You must be the baddest
motherfucker in school.
937
00:56:31,431 --> 00:56:33,892
Now, Elliot Fink,
you're gonna sit here
938
00:56:34,059 --> 00:56:35,935
and think about what you've done.
939
00:56:36,102 --> 00:56:39,814
You'll have detention every day
until I tell you you're reformed.
940
00:56:39,981 --> 00:56:44,527
My school will not be a training ground
for budding pornographers.
941
00:56:48,031 --> 00:56:51,868
[OVER HEADPHONES]
J' I'll never break your heart J'
942
00:56:52,035 --> 00:56:53,369
J' And I swear IJ'
943
00:56:53,536 --> 00:56:55,622
J' Gettin' better
Never known as a sweater J'
944
00:56:55,789 --> 00:56:57,707
J' Kickin' it at the top
'Cause I got myself together J'
945
00:56:57,874 --> 00:57:00,001
J' So roll with a guy
Who's physical and fit J'
946
00:57:00,168 --> 00:57:02,087
J' Knows the time
And too legit to quit, sang IJ'
947
00:57:02,253 --> 00:57:04,756
Don't look at me, perv.
948
00:57:06,132 --> 00:57:08,760
Can I get a Wi-Fi
connection here?
949
00:57:10,470 --> 00:57:12,639
'Nam flashback?
950
00:57:13,556 --> 00:57:15,475
Did you go to this school
in 1992?
951
00:57:15,642 --> 00:57:18,686
Yeah, she'll be 65 next week.
It's a surgical wonder.
952
00:57:20,522 --> 00:57:22,148
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
953
00:57:27,987 --> 00:57:31,116
Apparently, a perfect body
and eyeliner aren't enough
954
00:57:31,282 --> 00:57:32,742
to win the school dance-off.
955
00:57:32,909 --> 00:57:37,038
You need, like,
moves and things. God!
956
00:57:37,664 --> 00:57:38,748
Hmm.
957
00:57:38,915 --> 00:57:42,460
I used to know how to break it
down like C C Music Factory.
958
00:57:42,627 --> 00:57:43,795
Yeah, right!
959
00:57:43,962 --> 00:57:46,214
Mom, the dance-off is in two days.
960
00:57:46,381 --> 00:57:49,592
All you need to do is swap minds
with my 18-year-old self.
961
00:57:49,759 --> 00:57:53,847
My mind will go into your mind,
into your body
962
00:57:54,013 --> 00:57:55,598
and win you the dance-off.
963
00:57:55,765 --> 00:57:59,519
Meanwhile, your mind
will travel to 1992.
964
00:57:59,686 --> 00:58:02,438
That way people won't wonder
why there's two of you,
965
00:58:02,605 --> 00:58:04,190
or us,
hanging around now.
966
00:58:04,357 --> 00:58:08,403
A couple of things I need
to tell you about boys in 1992.
967
00:58:08,570 --> 00:58:11,656
Christian Slater, Frank Whaley,
968
00:58:11,823 --> 00:58:15,201
oh, and Richard Grieco
are all foxes.
969
00:58:15,368 --> 00:58:17,120
Donnie Wahlberg
is bordering sexy.
970
00:58:17,287 --> 00:58:22,167
Oh, and Kevin Costner is slamming
in Prince of Thieves.
971
00:58:22,333 --> 00:58:25,086
Kevin Costner is a douche.
And one other thing,
972
00:58:25,587 --> 00:58:26,713
are you insane?
973
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:30,133
It's what I always sang to you
when you were a baby.
974
00:58:30,300 --> 00:58:32,343
J' When you wish-- N
975
00:58:32,510 --> 00:58:34,721
Ah, shit!
Aah!
976
00:58:35,555 --> 00:58:38,850
I wish my mother
would go to another planet
977
00:58:39,017 --> 00:58:43,229
instead of being a drunken has-been
who's full of shit.
978
00:58:43,897 --> 00:58:46,065
[TN]
979
00:58:57,243 --> 00:58:59,287
[WHIRRING]
980
00:59:21,726 --> 00:59:26,105
So that's how my mind ended up
in my mother's body in 1992.
981
00:59:26,272 --> 00:59:30,735
And how I ended up in my
daughter lone in the present.
982
00:59:31,027 --> 00:59:33,279
But that's all technical
science stuff.
983
00:59:33,446 --> 00:59:36,950
J' Yo, man, you need to calm down
Don't get mad J'
984
00:59:37,116 --> 00:59:38,952
J' I don't need your sister J'
985
00:59:39,118 --> 00:59:41,621
J' But suppose she says
She loves me? J'J'
986
00:59:42,163 --> 00:59:44,457
Wow, lone really
did her research.
987
00:59:44,666 --> 00:59:45,708
[CROWD CHEERING]
988
00:59:46,292 --> 00:59:47,669
[FEEDBACK SQUEALS]
989
00:59:47,835 --> 00:59:49,754
Next up, doing ballet,
990
00:59:49,921 --> 00:59:52,257
we have Ripley Jones.
991
00:59:52,423 --> 00:59:53,466
RILEY:
Riley!
992
00:59:53,633 --> 00:59:56,761
Whatever, dude.
You have like three minutes.
993
00:59:56,970 --> 01:00:00,473
[THE BACKSTREET BOYS' "AS LONG AS
YOU LOVE ME" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
994
01:00:02,642 --> 01:00:05,019
J' As long as you love me J'
995
01:00:05,186 --> 01:00:10,108
J' Although loneliness
Has always been a friend of mine J'
996
01:00:10,316 --> 01:00:11,484
[SCREAMS]
997
01:00:11,651 --> 01:00:14,237
J' I'm leavin' my life in your hands N
998
01:00:16,656 --> 01:00:18,366
You taste like Luke Perry.
999
01:00:19,325 --> 01:00:20,660
[YELLS]
1000
01:00:21,077 --> 01:00:24,205
Heh, heh. She's a gimp.
RILEY: FML!
1001
01:00:24,372 --> 01:00:27,292
MAN [OVER PA]: Every student donating
a food item to help the war victims
1002
01:00:27,458 --> 01:00:29,752
will receive a free pass
to Lethal Weapon 3.
1003
01:00:29,919 --> 01:00:32,880
What the heck is so retro
about Kris Kross, dumb-ass?
1004
01:00:33,047 --> 01:00:35,216
This week the Science Olympiad
took place in Town Creek.
1005
01:00:35,383 --> 01:00:36,968
[CHUBB ROCK'S
"TREAT 'EM RIGHT" PLAYING]
1006
01:00:37,135 --> 01:00:40,096
I am never leaving this place.
1007
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:42,515
This move is sick.
1008
01:00:42,682 --> 01:00:44,309
Tighten up that defense line
1009
01:00:44,475 --> 01:00:46,602
Said hold that line
1010
01:00:46,769 --> 01:00:47,854
This one is...
1011
01:00:48,021 --> 01:00:50,023
Oh, hey, Verge,
are you coming out tonight?
1012
01:00:50,189 --> 01:00:52,692
We're gonna watch Freejack
on laser disc.
1013
01:00:53,693 --> 01:00:56,112
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1014
01:00:59,574 --> 01:01:03,369
Dear God, please give me
the strength to ask Sloan to prom.
1015
01:01:03,536 --> 01:01:08,291
We're meant to be
and she sees the future.
1016
01:01:08,583 --> 01:01:12,462
Oh, and give some food to those Ethiopian
kids hanging out with Sally Struthers
1017
01:01:12,628 --> 01:01:14,630
because seeing them
really bums me out
1018
01:01:14,797 --> 01:01:17,759
during Star Trek: Next Generation.
Amen.
1019
01:01:17,925 --> 01:01:20,261
[TN]
1020
01:01:21,346 --> 01:01:22,847
Lose your seat?
1021
01:01:23,598 --> 01:01:26,893
No, I was just sitting
right over there.
1022
01:01:27,060 --> 01:01:31,397
I, uh, saw you in cheerleader
practice in the gym yesterday
1023
01:01:31,564 --> 01:01:35,026
and I was thinking about it
again in bed last night.
1024
01:01:35,818 --> 01:01:39,489
I was just gonna
ask you to prom.
1025
01:01:40,239 --> 01:01:45,536
I can smell bologna packed in your lunch.
It makes me gag.
1026
01:01:51,084 --> 01:01:53,211
You look like a girl!
1027
01:01:57,215 --> 01:02:00,134
Sloan probably only likes guys
that look like C. Thomas Howell.
1028
01:02:00,301 --> 01:02:03,262
Well, that's just
racial discrimination.
1029
01:02:03,429 --> 01:02:06,265
If I can't be part of her future,
there will be no future.
1030
01:02:06,432 --> 01:02:07,517
[DEVICE BEEPING]
1031
01:02:08,768 --> 01:02:10,103
Aah!
1032
01:02:10,269 --> 01:02:12,772
[SIGHS]
1033
01:02:18,319 --> 01:02:19,445
[BURPS]
1034
01:02:19,612 --> 01:02:21,155
Damn it.
1035
01:02:21,697 --> 01:02:25,701
Well, if I'm gonna die, at least I know
I've lived twice as long as Riley.
1036
01:02:25,868 --> 01:02:28,621
Just because you're a bitch
doesn't give you dog years.
1037
01:02:28,788 --> 01:02:31,124
Says the baby
with the stuffed toys.
1038
01:02:34,377 --> 01:02:36,170
[SCREAMS]
1039
01:02:37,422 --> 01:02:39,757
RILEY:
I think it's Taylor's.
1040
01:02:40,967 --> 01:02:44,762
Verge is right.
The killer's right here.
1041
01:02:44,971 --> 01:02:46,639
[TN]
1042
01:02:46,806 --> 01:02:49,809
We gotta find out what happens
after the Cinderhella murders.
1043
01:02:49,976 --> 01:02:52,645
Cinderhella dies.
Yeah, after that.
1044
01:02:52,812 --> 01:02:54,814
What happens in
Cinderhella Ill: Blood Ball?
1045
01:02:54,981 --> 01:02:57,525
Movie's not out yet.
I'll BitTorrent the work print.
1046
01:02:57,692 --> 01:02:58,860
Three, two-- Got it!
1047
01:02:59,026 --> 01:03:01,487
Damn. The review
by Sherlock Moriarty
1048
01:03:01,654 --> 01:03:03,656
compares it unfavorably
to Hellboy ll,
1049
01:03:03,823 --> 01:03:05,700
calling it a "craptasterpiece."
1050
01:03:05,867 --> 01:03:07,410
That's it.
1051
01:03:11,205 --> 01:03:13,207
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
PLAYING IN FILM]
1052
01:03:14,417 --> 01:03:17,462
If Mr. Pain 's giving us detention
on a Saturday,
1053
01:03:17,628 --> 01:03:21,007
the least we can do is download
Slashing Beauty 4 for free
1054
01:03:21,174 --> 01:03:24,343
and watch it illegally on the Internet
before it's released.
1055
01:03:24,510 --> 01:03:26,387
I wanna have unprotected sex.
1056
01:03:26,554 --> 01:03:29,223
RILEY: How can they make a movie
worse than Cinderhella ll?
1057
01:03:29,390 --> 01:03:30,683
[GIRL SCREAMING IN FILM]
1058
01:03:30,850 --> 01:03:32,768
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
PLAYING IN FILM]
1059
01:03:38,566 --> 01:03:41,694
They say the Beauty Beast
only kills virgins.
1060
01:03:42,445 --> 01:03:44,197
I'm saving myself for marriage.
1061
01:03:44,655 --> 01:03:47,366
I avoid teenage pregnancy.
Ah.
1062
01:03:49,869 --> 01:03:53,623
Madison. We're gonna die.
1063
01:03:53,789 --> 01:03:56,250
If it's life or death...
Heh, heh.
1064
01:03:56,417 --> 01:03:59,545
TOBY: What is this, Canadian?
GORD: Canada invented the slasher film
1065
01:03:59,712 --> 01:04:02,882
as well as the "animal plays a sport"
genre, motherfucker.
1066
01:04:03,216 --> 01:04:04,425
I'm a virgin.
1067
01:04:04,634 --> 01:04:06,010
[MOANING]
1068
01:04:11,974 --> 01:04:13,935
Take me, Beauty Beast!
1069
01:04:14,101 --> 01:04:16,145
Your teeth are so hard!
1070
01:04:17,563 --> 01:04:18,731
Suck it! Oh!
1071
01:04:18,898 --> 01:04:20,525
Ah! Goddamn it!
1072
01:04:21,234 --> 01:04:23,569
Greg, you asshole.
1073
01:04:23,736 --> 01:04:27,698
Now we really do have to use this
time to think about our futures.
1074
01:04:29,575 --> 01:04:30,618
[ALL SCREAMING]
1075
01:04:31,244 --> 01:04:33,162
This movie is so stupid.
1076
01:04:33,329 --> 01:04:35,915
Let's go back to class
and fall asleep.
1077
01:04:36,082 --> 01:04:37,500
[ALL SCREAMING]
1078
01:04:37,917 --> 01:04:40,753
CINDERHELLA:
None of you felons
1079
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:45,174
will ever graduate!
1080
01:04:45,341 --> 01:04:46,717
[LAUGHING]
1081
01:04:47,635 --> 01:04:48,761
[BOTH SCREAM]
1082
01:04:50,429 --> 01:04:52,139
[ALL SCREAMING]
1083
01:04:53,975 --> 01:04:56,185
What is this commotion?
1084
01:04:56,352 --> 01:05:01,566
We're about to get murdered.
Someday you will be old, kids.
1085
01:05:01,732 --> 01:05:04,902
Do you believe that our president,
Barack Obama, murdered anyone
1086
01:05:05,069 --> 01:05:07,196
when he was in high school?
1087
01:05:08,447 --> 01:05:10,866
O.J. maybe. Not Obama.
1088
01:05:11,033 --> 01:05:13,869
I think that's racist, sir.
What is? It is not.
1089
01:05:14,036 --> 01:05:17,999
Why did you go from Obama to O.J.
Instead of to Dahmer or someone?
1090
01:05:18,165 --> 01:05:22,503
I, Mimi, am the principal
of this school,
1091
01:05:22,670 --> 01:05:25,673
and you have not even completed
your schooling.
1092
01:05:26,257 --> 01:05:27,800
Besides, I voted for McCain.
1093
01:05:27,967 --> 01:05:31,012
In conclusion, stop fucking around.
1094
01:05:31,178 --> 01:05:33,639
Um, are we allowed to read?
No, Hitachi.
1095
01:05:33,931 --> 01:05:35,016
Toshiba.
1096
01:05:35,182 --> 01:05:37,351
Lone. Sorry, baby.
1097
01:05:37,518 --> 01:05:38,978
"Baby"?
Weird.
1098
01:05:39,729 --> 01:05:41,105
Who is that?
1099
01:05:41,314 --> 01:05:43,024
My name's Elliot Fink.
1100
01:05:43,190 --> 01:05:44,942
VERGE: Nobody say a word.
Nobody sneeze.
1101
01:05:45,318 --> 01:05:49,614
Nobody look at anything
except your own eyeballs.
1102
01:05:50,823 --> 01:05:52,283
There's a killer amongst us.
1103
01:05:53,659 --> 01:05:55,828
You've read Brave New World.
1104
01:05:55,995 --> 01:05:58,456
Like Big Brother, I'm watching you.
1105
01:05:58,623 --> 01:05:59,874
Big Brother was in 1984.
1106
01:06:00,041 --> 01:06:05,338
You have no future,
in my opinion.
1107
01:06:07,423 --> 01:06:09,634
[ALL SCREAMING]
1108
01:06:10,009 --> 01:06:11,135
What now?
1109
01:06:11,302 --> 01:06:14,347
These kids should be happy to be
away from their Yu-Gi-Oh.
1110
01:06:14,513 --> 01:06:17,350
What the hell are you doing
out of detention?
1111
01:06:19,393 --> 01:06:20,603
[GRUNTS]
1112
01:06:20,770 --> 01:06:22,688
[GROANING]
1113
01:06:28,527 --> 01:06:30,029
I solved the equation.
1114
01:06:30,196 --> 01:06:33,574
Cool. You passed Trig. In other news,
somebody's murdering us.
1115
01:06:33,741 --> 01:06:38,120
None of that matters. If these numbers are
correct, the world is ending in 10 minutes.
1116
01:06:38,287 --> 01:06:41,374
The whole world?
Yeah, all of Grizzly Lake.
1117
01:06:41,540 --> 01:06:44,335
That's not the whole world.
You been outside Grizzly Lake?
1118
01:06:44,502 --> 01:06:45,920
No.
So, what's the difference?
1119
01:06:46,087 --> 01:06:47,129
Whoa-kay.
1120
01:06:47,296 --> 01:06:49,423
Nobody knows who you are.
Why believe you?
1121
01:06:49,590 --> 01:06:51,717
In 9.4 minutes,
everyone you know,
1122
01:06:52,718 --> 01:06:55,304
your friends, your parents,
1123
01:06:55,471 --> 01:06:58,683
your extensions, goes bye-bye.
1124
01:06:58,849 --> 01:07:00,643
This destruction is man-made.
1125
01:07:00,976 --> 01:07:04,647
If it's man-made, we can kill it.
Huh?
1126
01:07:04,814 --> 01:07:08,734
Score one for Captain 9021-Obvious.
How do we stop it?
1127
01:07:09,235 --> 01:07:12,571
That's the catch. I said it was
happening in nine minutes,
1128
01:07:12,738 --> 01:07:15,825
but it's happening in nine minutes
in the year 1992.
1129
01:07:15,991 --> 01:07:17,034
What the hell?
1130
01:07:17,827 --> 01:07:20,579
Somebody must have
gone back to 1992.
1131
01:07:20,746 --> 01:07:24,542
In nine minutes, they're changing
history by blowing everything up.
1132
01:07:24,709 --> 01:07:26,419
None of you will have
even been born.
1133
01:07:26,585 --> 01:07:28,838
The end of the world's coming?
Yeah.
1134
01:07:29,004 --> 01:07:30,840
In 1992?
Yes.
1135
01:07:31,006 --> 01:07:33,092
IONE: 1992.
We're talking time travel?
1136
01:07:33,259 --> 01:07:36,262
MIMI: There's no such thing.
Technically it's a temporal Wormhole
1137
01:07:36,429 --> 01:07:39,807
based on an 11-dimensional string
model of the holographic universe.
1138
01:07:39,974 --> 01:07:42,560
It'd require a highly advanced
mathematical construct
1139
01:07:42,727 --> 01:07:44,145
far beyond M-theory,
1140
01:07:44,311 --> 01:07:46,689
probably alien in origin.
1141
01:07:46,981 --> 01:07:48,107
[MIMI GASPS]
1142
01:07:48,274 --> 01:07:49,692
What?
1143
01:07:49,859 --> 01:07:53,237
I've been building the school bear
into a time machine for science class.
1144
01:07:53,404 --> 01:07:56,699
So you're telling me
it works? Cool.
1145
01:07:56,866 --> 01:07:58,325
I hate this school.
1146
01:07:58,617 --> 01:07:59,952
Where's Sander?
1147
01:08:00,119 --> 01:08:01,662
And Clapton.
1148
01:08:02,121 --> 01:08:05,124
He's terrified of the future.
Nobody hated Verge like Clapton.
1149
01:08:05,291 --> 01:08:07,877
Clapton doesn't hate anyone,
except Billy Nolan.
1150
01:08:08,043 --> 01:08:09,378
Also dead.
1151
01:08:09,545 --> 01:08:10,921
Oh, shit.
1152
01:08:11,172 --> 01:08:14,800
I'll drop my extreme skepticism due to
the potential urgency of the situation.
1153
01:08:14,967 --> 01:08:18,304
How do we use your time machine?
You'll break it.
1154
01:08:18,471 --> 01:08:21,140
I haven't been graded yet.
You won't be graded at all
1155
01:08:21,307 --> 01:08:24,518
if you haven't been born.
Show me how it works.
1156
01:08:24,685 --> 01:08:27,938
No, show me.
I don't trust anyone right now.
1157
01:08:28,105 --> 01:08:29,482
Maybe we don't trust you.
1158
01:08:29,648 --> 01:08:33,694
It's personal.
I have to stop Clapton from killing us.
1159
01:08:33,861 --> 01:08:36,822
Someone took this claw
from my locker.
1160
01:08:37,031 --> 01:08:38,324
[BEEPING]
1161
01:08:38,491 --> 01:08:40,493
[TN]
1162
01:08:42,119 --> 01:08:44,079
[GROWLING]
1163
01:08:47,166 --> 01:08:48,459
[BLEEPING]
1164
01:08:55,299 --> 01:08:57,802
[HOUSE OF PAIN'S
"JUMP AROUND" PLAYING]
1165
01:09:01,847 --> 01:09:04,558
I'm sorry. But this is so cool.
1166
01:09:04,725 --> 01:09:06,185
How much did those cost?
1167
01:09:06,936 --> 01:09:08,187
A hundred dollars.
1168
01:09:08,354 --> 01:09:09,772
For overalls?
1169
01:09:09,939 --> 01:09:13,400
Did your parents sell out
to an evil corporate conglomerate?
1170
01:09:15,486 --> 01:09:17,780
I'm never leaving this place.
1171
01:09:19,490 --> 01:09:20,866
J' Pack it up, pack it in J'
1172
01:09:21,033 --> 01:09:24,036
J' Let me begin, I came to win
Battle me that's a sin J'
1173
01:09:24,203 --> 01:09:26,413
J' I won't ever slack up
Punk, you better back up J'
1174
01:09:26,580 --> 01:09:28,666
J' Try and play the role
And, yo, the whole crew will act up J'
1175
01:09:28,833 --> 01:09:30,876
J' Get up, stand up
Come on, throw your hands up J'
1176
01:09:31,043 --> 01:09:33,087
J' If you got the feeling
Jump up, touch the ceiling J'
1177
01:09:33,254 --> 01:09:35,256
J' Muggs lets the funk flow
Someone's talking junk J'
1178
01:09:35,422 --> 01:09:37,967
J' Yo, I'll bust 'em in the eye
And then I'll take the punk's ho J'
1179
01:09:38,133 --> 01:09:39,635
J' Feelin', funkin'
Amps in the trunk J'
1180
01:09:39,802 --> 01:09:43,222
J' And I got more rhymes than there's
Cops at a Dunkin' Donuts shop J'
1181
01:09:43,389 --> 01:09:44,807
J' Sure 'nuff I got props
From the kids on the Hill J'
1182
01:09:44,974 --> 01:09:46,183
J' Plus my mom and my pops IJ'
1183
01:09:46,350 --> 01:09:48,894
Schwing!
Schwing! Heh, heh.
1184
01:09:50,813 --> 01:09:53,065
That's why Mom left you.
1185
01:09:56,110 --> 01:09:57,695
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
1186
01:09:58,863 --> 01:10:02,783
MaclNTIRE: Okay, class, we talked
last week about quantum states.
1187
01:10:02,950 --> 01:10:08,414
Now, can anybody tell me
what describes a mixed state?
1188
01:10:08,581 --> 01:10:11,083
CLAPTON: New Mexico.
No, Clapton.
1189
01:10:11,250 --> 01:10:14,587
You already received your 15
percent for participation mark.
1190
01:10:14,753 --> 01:10:17,631
You don't have to give
the wrong answers any more.
1191
01:10:17,798 --> 01:10:20,509
But nice work on your essay
on the Heisenberg principle.
1192
01:10:20,676 --> 01:10:23,596
It was incorrect, but it had heart.
1193
01:10:23,762 --> 01:10:25,556
I gave you an A.
1194
01:10:26,265 --> 01:10:28,267
He's a killer!
1195
01:10:28,684 --> 01:10:30,269
I don't know this person.
1196
01:10:30,436 --> 01:10:33,689
My class time will not be spent
on practical jokes.
1197
01:10:33,856 --> 01:10:36,191
Clapton Davis is
my brightest student.
1198
01:10:36,358 --> 01:10:39,778
Brightest?
He never does his homework.
1199
01:10:39,945 --> 01:10:43,115
We figured it out, Clapton.
All this death is just a game to you.
1200
01:10:43,282 --> 01:10:46,410
Why would I kill people? I chased
Sander through the time machine
1201
01:10:46,577 --> 01:10:49,455
after he got Gord, lost him.
Been stuck here for six weeks.
1202
01:10:49,622 --> 01:10:52,625
But I'm on the honor roll.
So then why does the world go away?
1203
01:10:52,791 --> 01:10:54,752
Wait, is that why Verge
is building a bomb?
1204
01:10:54,919 --> 01:10:56,795
A bomb?
Thought he was extra-crediting.
1205
01:10:56,962 --> 01:10:58,756
In Osama bin Ladinism?
1206
01:10:58,923 --> 01:11:00,716
I bet Sander's helping him.
1207
01:11:00,966 --> 01:11:03,510
Unbelievable. You let
a mass murderer feel your bosom.
1208
01:11:03,677 --> 01:11:06,639
Oh, my God.
We have to kill Sander.
1209
01:11:06,805 --> 01:11:10,100
What are we, monsters?
Let's just kidnap him.
1210
01:11:12,728 --> 01:11:15,648
And scene. Thank you.
1211
01:11:15,814 --> 01:11:17,107
Shit!
1212
01:11:17,274 --> 01:11:18,984
[TN]
1213
01:11:19,151 --> 01:11:22,154
MURDOCK: If time travel were to
happen, it would probably require
1214
01:11:22,321 --> 01:11:26,659
a huge electrical force
of around 1.21, 1.22 gigawatts.
1215
01:11:26,825 --> 01:11:31,121
See how crossing the nodes of your flux
capacitor generates a tachyon blast?
1216
01:11:31,288 --> 01:11:33,749
I don't know who you are
or what you're trying--
1217
01:11:33,916 --> 01:11:36,418
The way this is set up,
it's gonna blow your face off.
1218
01:11:36,585 --> 01:11:38,087
Yeah, I'd like to see that.
1219
01:11:38,253 --> 01:11:41,507
You defy death and turn into
a douche bag like Spock.
1220
01:11:41,757 --> 01:11:44,009
Here, I made you a mix tape.
1221
01:11:44,176 --> 01:11:45,469
That's so awesome.
1222
01:11:46,845 --> 01:11:50,975
Are you from, like, the year 2000?
Yes, I come from the time where
1223
01:11:51,141 --> 01:11:53,560
computers and machines
have overtaken the world
1224
01:11:53,727 --> 01:11:57,147
and enslaved human bodies
as sources of infinite electrical power.
1225
01:11:58,315 --> 01:12:00,150
That's stupid.
The food it would take--
1226
01:12:00,317 --> 01:12:02,945
If you're not careful,
you'll create a chain of events
1227
01:12:03,112 --> 01:12:06,031
leading to the complete annihilation
of the human race.
1228
01:12:06,198 --> 01:12:10,119
Now make that bomb go off.
1229
01:12:10,452 --> 01:12:13,038
I wanna kill everyone because
they snubbed me for prom.
1230
01:12:13,205 --> 01:12:15,124
That works.
I like how you think, Mr...?
1231
01:12:15,290 --> 01:12:17,584
Keanu.
1232
01:12:19,211 --> 01:12:21,088
Excuse me.
Where is your hall pass?
1233
01:12:21,255 --> 01:12:23,549
Gosh-fucking-darn it.
You get his legs.
1234
01:12:23,799 --> 01:12:25,050
[SANDER YELLS]
1235
01:12:27,219 --> 01:12:29,596
VERGE: Oh, my face!
It didn't work.
1236
01:12:29,763 --> 01:12:31,932
[TN]
1237
01:12:32,099 --> 01:12:33,142
Don't be so sure.
1238
01:12:33,517 --> 01:12:36,186
SANDER:
Aah! Come on!
1239
01:12:36,395 --> 01:12:37,813
[SANDER GRUNTING]
1240
01:12:53,454 --> 01:12:55,372
[ALL SCREAMING]
1241
01:12:56,582 --> 01:12:57,958
[SANDER GRUNTING]
1242
01:13:12,264 --> 01:13:14,099
Riley, get back
in the time machine.
1243
01:13:18,312 --> 01:13:19,813
[SCREAMING]
1244
01:13:22,608 --> 01:13:24,860
[CLOCK TICKING]
1245
01:13:28,280 --> 01:13:30,574
We've been sent back
six minutes before doomsday.
1246
01:13:30,741 --> 01:13:32,201
We should have
grabbed Verge.
1247
01:13:32,367 --> 01:13:35,120
He had enough info to know
how to make the bomb go off.
1248
01:13:35,287 --> 01:13:36,622
What? New strategy.
1249
01:13:36,789 --> 01:13:39,124
I don't know.
I'm saying we need one.
1250
01:13:47,466 --> 01:13:49,009
I got nothing.
1251
01:13:50,302 --> 01:13:51,470
[SCOFFS]
1252
01:13:51,637 --> 01:13:56,642
If we weren't all dead in two
minutes, I would masturbate so hard
1253
01:13:56,809 --> 01:13:59,895
to lone tonight.
lone? You mean Sloan.
1254
01:14:00,979 --> 01:14:04,733
Girls like Sloan will learn what happens
when they pass up guys like me.
1255
01:14:05,192 --> 01:14:06,235
SANDER:
Ah.
1256
01:14:07,319 --> 01:14:08,654
Let me see your bomb.
1257
01:14:09,321 --> 01:14:10,697
Whats What? That's it.
1258
01:14:10,864 --> 01:14:14,993
Verge is doing this because she broke his heart.
We force lone to go with him.
1259
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:17,246
Lone's going to prom
with me. Forget it.
1260
01:14:17,412 --> 01:14:20,999
She'll go to prom with you in
2011 and with him in 1992.
1261
01:14:21,166 --> 01:14:23,418
Yeah, I still don't think
I'm okay with that.
1262
01:14:24,086 --> 01:14:25,254
Lone!
1263
01:14:26,213 --> 01:14:27,589
[TN]
1264
01:14:27,756 --> 01:14:31,009
You'll blow this for me.
I traded places with my mom.
1265
01:14:31,176 --> 01:14:32,469
My name here is Sloan.
1266
01:14:33,345 --> 01:14:35,514
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1267
01:14:35,681 --> 01:14:37,141
CLAPTON:
Don't I get a kiss?
1268
01:14:37,307 --> 01:14:39,143
Ew. No.
1269
01:14:39,309 --> 01:14:41,270
Damn, I knew Sting
was too good to be true.
1270
01:14:41,436 --> 01:14:43,772
Your mom's a bitch.
It was to win the contest.
1271
01:14:43,939 --> 01:14:46,650
I was gonna come back but--
Being cool is that important?
1272
01:14:46,817 --> 01:14:49,486
How hard is it
to be cool in 1992?
1273
01:14:49,653 --> 01:14:52,072
Plus, my mom's body
fits great,
1274
01:14:52,239 --> 01:14:55,993
except I think
I may be pregnant.
1275
01:14:57,369 --> 01:14:59,288
Lone's giving birth
to herself?
1276
01:14:59,454 --> 01:15:00,873
I failed that class.
1277
01:15:01,039 --> 01:15:04,626
You know how cool people always
refer to guacamole as "guac"?
1278
01:15:04,793 --> 01:15:07,588
I invented that.
lone, you have to ask Verge to prom.
1279
01:15:07,754 --> 01:15:09,882
Waiting for the punch line.
1280
01:15:10,048 --> 01:15:13,427
People are getting killed. He's gonna
blow up Grizzly Lake in 56 seconds.
1281
01:15:13,594 --> 01:15:15,596
You can keep living in 1992
if you want,
1282
01:15:15,762 --> 01:15:18,432
but the fate of everyone
you've ever known goes away
1283
01:15:18,599 --> 01:15:20,559
unless you ask Verge to prom
right now.
1284
01:15:20,726 --> 01:15:22,477
Screw that! I can't be forced
1285
01:15:22,644 --> 01:15:24,271
to go to prom
with someone.
1286
01:15:24,438 --> 01:15:26,565
That's like date rape.
1287
01:15:26,732 --> 01:15:28,775
You heard of
the Dead Cheerleader Nationals?
1288
01:15:29,067 --> 01:15:30,861
They don't exist.
1289
01:15:31,028 --> 01:15:33,071
Verge, I was wondering--
1290
01:15:33,488 --> 01:15:35,240
What are you guys working on?
1291
01:15:35,407 --> 01:15:37,159
Now, lone. Eighteen seconds!
1292
01:15:37,326 --> 01:15:40,329
Will you be my prom date?
Your hair can look like Sharon Stone?
1293
01:15:40,495 --> 01:15:41,538
What?
What are you doing?
1294
01:15:41,705 --> 01:15:42,998
Fine.
BOTH: Nine seconds.
1295
01:15:43,165 --> 01:15:45,250
You go full tongue?
Ew. Okay.
1296
01:15:45,417 --> 01:15:46,710
Cowabunga.
1297
01:15:47,461 --> 01:15:49,504
We can use my
Pizza Pitt coupons first.
1298
01:15:49,671 --> 01:15:50,797
[SOBS]
1299
01:15:52,591 --> 01:15:53,842
[SIGHS]
1300
01:16:02,935 --> 01:16:04,853
Weren't we able
to jump through last time?
1301
01:16:05,020 --> 01:16:07,564
We surpassed the spatial
temporal limit of time travel.
1302
01:16:07,731 --> 01:16:09,441
What is that?
You just made that up.
1303
01:16:09,608 --> 01:16:11,693
Toshiba must have put
an on-off switch here.
1304
01:16:11,860 --> 01:16:14,071
Let's see.
1305
01:16:16,573 --> 01:16:18,075
Ah, found it.
1306
01:16:22,412 --> 01:16:24,623
Come on.
1307
01:16:24,790 --> 01:16:27,292
That girl is going down
on that bear.
1308
01:16:27,459 --> 01:16:30,462
RILEY: Come on!
I knew that ass looked familiar.
1309
01:16:31,964 --> 01:16:34,383
RILEY: Come on, you bitch!
ELLIOT: Nice.
1310
01:16:36,677 --> 01:16:37,886
Who's her prom date?
1311
01:16:38,720 --> 01:16:40,889
All his parts are still working.
1312
01:16:41,056 --> 01:16:43,016
Yeah, we gotta go.
Come on.
1313
01:16:43,183 --> 01:16:45,227
[WHIRRING]
1314
01:16:46,687 --> 01:16:48,814
Not so fast.
1315
01:16:48,981 --> 01:16:50,023
Oh, crap.
1316
01:16:50,190 --> 01:16:52,317
[DEVICE BEEPING AND TICKING]
1317
01:16:59,074 --> 01:17:00,701
[BLEEPING]
1318
01:17:01,034 --> 01:17:03,203
[OVER SPEAKERS]
J' All in a glance J'
1319
01:17:03,370 --> 01:17:09,376
J' I don't care who you are
Where you're from J'
1320
01:17:09,543 --> 01:17:12,379
J' What you did
As long as you love me IJ'
1321
01:17:12,546 --> 01:17:15,424
So everyone left detention
after Verge and Gord got killed?
1322
01:17:15,590 --> 01:17:19,011
Our band may not be the Drunges,
but I wouldn't say we got killed.
1323
01:17:19,177 --> 01:17:21,847
SLOAN: Oh, Principal Pimping,
don't listen to the haters.
1324
01:17:22,014 --> 01:17:23,974
You are my freakasaurus.
1325
01:17:24,975 --> 01:17:29,021
Since our lead vocalist is too busy
getting molested by Mrs. Verge,
1326
01:17:29,187 --> 01:17:31,648
I quit, I quit, I'm too wasted.
1327
01:17:31,815 --> 01:17:33,692
CROWD [CHANTING]:
Verge! Verge! Verge!
1328
01:17:33,859 --> 01:17:37,696
I guess I'll sing the next song.
This one goes out to lone.
1329
01:17:37,863 --> 01:17:41,867
Because, lone,
you are my field of gold.
1330
01:17:42,034 --> 01:17:43,535
Hit it, Gord.
1331
01:17:43,702 --> 01:17:45,203
[BOTH SCREAMING]
1332
01:17:45,370 --> 01:17:47,247
[BAND PLAYING
"FIELDS OF GOLD"]
1333
01:17:47,414 --> 01:17:50,959
Toby T knows every
post-Police Sting album.
1334
01:17:51,209 --> 01:17:52,669
Yay.
1335
01:17:53,378 --> 01:17:56,256
We changed the fabric
of space-time.
1336
01:17:56,465 --> 01:17:59,676
That or the bear fumes
have gotten me delusional.
1337
01:17:59,885 --> 01:18:03,388
TOBY: J' You'll forget the
sun In his jealous sky J'
1338
01:18:03,555 --> 01:18:04,639
An A.
1339
01:18:04,806 --> 01:18:07,392
That should do it.
BOY: Verge!
1340
01:18:08,643 --> 01:18:10,520
Nineteen years ago today,
1341
01:18:10,687 --> 01:18:13,690
I met the kindest man
I could ever imagine.
1342
01:18:13,857 --> 01:18:16,234
Who gave you the right to get
so much older than me?
1343
01:18:16,401 --> 01:18:19,488
Strange things happen
when you're young.
1344
01:18:19,654 --> 01:18:23,075
No! The punch bowl has been spiked.
You will not drink that, young lady!
1345
01:18:23,241 --> 01:18:25,786
Don't talk to me that way,
young lady.
1346
01:18:26,370 --> 01:18:30,290
All right, lovebirds. I'm gonna steal
my hottie and grab some guac.
1347
01:18:31,416 --> 01:18:32,584
Guac.
1348
01:18:32,751 --> 01:18:35,253
And the world just threw up
a little.
1349
01:18:35,420 --> 01:18:38,423
"Lovebirds"? Are we dating now?
You got a problem with that?
1350
01:18:38,590 --> 01:18:39,925
Students.
1351
01:18:40,092 --> 01:18:44,930
I hate to interrupt, but it is now time
to announce your prom king and queen.
1352
01:18:45,097 --> 01:18:47,099
Oh, you all know
what the deal is.
1353
01:18:47,265 --> 01:18:48,850
Riley, Clapton,
1354
01:18:50,102 --> 01:18:52,312
come on up here and dance.
1355
01:18:54,439 --> 01:18:55,816
Uh, Clapton don't da--
Shut up.
1356
01:18:55,982 --> 01:18:58,985
If you don't dance with me,
I will murder every last inch of you.
1357
01:18:59,236 --> 01:19:02,447
Well, in that case,
hold on a second.
1358
01:19:06,034 --> 01:19:07,119
Clapton don't dance.
1359
01:19:07,953 --> 01:19:10,038
So they say.
But when studying Road House,
1360
01:19:10,205 --> 01:19:12,749
I got hooked on the rest
of Patrick Swayze's oeuvre.
1361
01:19:12,916 --> 01:19:15,127
If he can look cool
dirty dancing...
1362
01:19:17,337 --> 01:19:20,507
[BAND PLAYING "MMMBOP"]
1363
01:19:31,476 --> 01:19:34,521
J' Mmm-bop, ba-doo, bop-bop
D00-Wop J'
1364
01:19:34,688 --> 01:19:38,817
J' D00-Wop-ba, doo-bop
Ba-doo, bop-bop, doo J'
1365
01:19:38,984 --> 01:19:40,902
J' Yeah, yeah, yeah, mmm-bop J'
1366
01:19:41,069 --> 01:19:43,029
J' Ba-doo, bop-bop, doo-Wop J'
1367
01:19:43,196 --> 01:19:45,657
J' D00-Wop-ba, doo-bop J'
1368
01:19:45,824 --> 01:19:47,492
J' Ba-doo, bop-bop, doo J'
1369
01:19:47,659 --> 01:19:49,161
J' Yeah, yeah J'
1370
01:19:49,327 --> 01:19:51,246
J' In an mmm-bop they're gone J'
1371
01:19:51,413 --> 01:19:53,498
J' In an mmm-bop they're not there J'
1372
01:19:53,665 --> 01:19:55,500
J' In an mmm-bop they're gone J'
1373
01:19:55,667 --> 01:20:00,172
J' In an mmm-bop they're not there J'
1374
01:20:00,338 --> 01:20:04,426
J' Until you lose your hair
But you don't care J'
1375
01:20:04,593 --> 01:20:05,844
J' You don't care J'
1376
01:20:06,011 --> 01:20:08,972
J' Mmm-bop, ba-doo, bop-bop
D00-Wop J'
1377
01:20:09,139 --> 01:20:13,018
J' D00-Wop-ba, doo-bop
Ba-doo, bop-bop, doo J'
1378
01:20:13,185 --> 01:20:14,227
J' They don't care J'
1379
01:20:14,394 --> 01:20:17,772
J' Mmm-bop, ba-doo, bop-bop
D00-Wop J'
1380
01:20:17,939 --> 01:20:22,194
J' D00-Wop-ba, doo-bop
Ba-doo, bop-bop, doo J'
1381
01:20:23,403 --> 01:20:26,198
J' Mmm-bop, ba-doo, bop-bop
D00-Wop J'
1382
01:20:26,364 --> 01:20:31,411
J' D00-Wop-ba, doo-bop
Ba-doo, bop-bop, doo J'
1383
01:20:31,703 --> 01:20:34,915
J' Mmm-bop, ba-doo, bop-bop
D00-Wop J'
1384
01:20:35,081 --> 01:20:38,585
J' D00-Wop-ba, doo-bop
Ba-doo, bop-bop, doo N
1385
01:20:41,505 --> 01:20:43,507
[TN]
1386
01:20:49,804 --> 01:20:51,806
[TN]
1387
01:21:04,069 --> 01:21:06,738
ls everything
really back to normal?
1388
01:21:07,822 --> 01:21:12,494
I guess if me getting an A and saving
the universe is considered normal.
1389
01:21:13,537 --> 01:21:18,333
Well, maybe normal's
not all it's cracked up to be.
1390
01:21:33,807 --> 01:21:35,141
We didn't change everything.
1391
01:21:39,771 --> 01:21:40,939
[BOTH SCREAMING]
1392
01:21:44,192 --> 01:21:45,610
[SCREAMING]
1393
01:21:48,822 --> 01:21:50,574
[SCREAMING]
1394
01:21:56,121 --> 01:21:58,873
I mean, look at how tight
his jeans are.
1395
01:21:59,583 --> 01:22:01,876
He's totally gay.
Oh, you piece of shit!
1396
01:22:02,043 --> 01:22:04,963
You should have fucked me.
1397
01:22:08,008 --> 01:22:10,302
Think you can kill people
because you're a virgin?
1398
01:22:10,468 --> 01:22:12,554
That's the douchiest thing
I've ever heard.
1399
01:22:12,721 --> 01:22:16,141
Sander, I want my fish sticks.
1400
01:22:16,808 --> 01:22:17,934
Hey!
1401
01:22:18,101 --> 01:22:19,894
I stopped wearing Ed Hardy
junior year.
1402
01:22:20,061 --> 01:22:24,232
I'm sorry that you're all too busy
playing Sims Grizzly Lake to notice!
1403
01:22:24,399 --> 01:22:26,151
Christian Audigier
is the same shit.
1404
01:22:26,318 --> 01:22:28,194
Really? Whatever.
1405
01:22:28,361 --> 01:22:30,989
You're all Gossip Girls with Corollas!
I take the bus.
1406
01:22:31,156 --> 01:22:35,076
And like wearing a movie mask
is so original.
1407
01:22:35,243 --> 01:22:36,703
Read a book.
1408
01:22:36,870 --> 01:22:39,497
It's called post-irony!
1409
01:22:39,664 --> 01:22:42,834
I used to think you were just some
middle-class chump with no game.
1410
01:22:43,001 --> 01:22:44,628
But those pity points ran out.
1411
01:22:45,086 --> 01:22:50,175
Oh, pity me from the wrist-slitting
herbivore over here?
1412
01:22:50,342 --> 01:22:51,343
[GRUNTS]
1413
01:22:53,261 --> 01:22:57,807
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] "Clapton Davis
doesn't love me. Please kill me, God!"
1414
01:22:57,974 --> 01:23:00,101
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
You are pathetic!
1415
01:23:00,268 --> 01:23:03,396
All of your Grizzly Lake friends
are pathetic!
1416
01:23:05,857 --> 01:23:07,317
Except me. I'm all right.
1417
01:23:07,484 --> 01:23:09,861
God, why wasn't I born
someplace cool, like Orlando?
1418
01:23:10,278 --> 01:23:11,404
God, you're a dick.
1419
01:23:11,696 --> 01:23:15,200
It breaks my spirit to see that bra
size wasted on someone like you.
1420
01:23:15,408 --> 01:23:17,035
Unh!
Aah!
1421
01:23:17,202 --> 01:23:18,953
[TN]
1422
01:23:24,042 --> 01:23:26,378
You're about to be spanked
by the power of Swayze.
1423
01:23:26,544 --> 01:23:28,546
All Road House had were his fists.
1424
01:23:28,713 --> 01:23:31,966
In Under Siege,
Steven Seagal was a master chef.
1425
01:23:32,550 --> 01:23:35,387
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1426
01:23:43,228 --> 01:23:44,729
[GRUNTING]
1427
01:23:46,231 --> 01:23:47,899
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1428
01:23:52,904 --> 01:23:54,656
Your fighting style is so obnoxious.
1429
01:23:54,906 --> 01:23:59,703
Seagal in On Deadly Ground.
Impenetrable defense.
1430
01:24:12,132 --> 01:24:13,174
[SCREAMS]
1431
01:24:13,341 --> 01:24:14,509
[TN]
1432
01:24:14,676 --> 01:24:15,844
[GRUNTING]
1433
01:24:17,762 --> 01:24:18,763
[SCREAMING]
1434
01:24:22,392 --> 01:24:24,102
[SANDER SCREAMING]
1435
01:24:29,774 --> 01:24:30,859
[SCREAMS]
1436
01:24:35,363 --> 01:24:37,115
Oh, God!
1437
01:24:37,282 --> 01:24:38,950
[SANDER GRUNTING]
1438
01:24:48,960 --> 01:24:50,462
[GRUNTING]
1439
01:24:50,879 --> 01:24:52,589
[GRUNTING]
1440
01:24:52,756 --> 01:24:54,299
l90tyou.
1441
01:24:54,466 --> 01:24:56,092
You got yourself.
1442
01:24:56,968 --> 01:24:58,136
[SCREAMS]
1443
01:24:59,804 --> 01:25:01,848
[SCREAMS]
1444
01:25:06,644 --> 01:25:08,104
[GRUNTING]
1445
01:25:13,359 --> 01:25:16,696
[METAL CLANKING]
1446
01:25:28,166 --> 01:25:31,795
Just another dead teenager
in Grizzly Lake.
1447
01:25:32,754 --> 01:25:35,173
I think he'll be the last.
1448
01:25:37,342 --> 01:25:40,303
[TN]
1449
01:25:52,398 --> 01:25:55,902
RILEY: Once upon a time, the
planet didn't burst into flames,
1450
01:25:56,069 --> 01:25:59,239
everybody didn't die,
and life kept on,
1451
01:25:59,405 --> 01:26:02,826
even though Sander thought that
he was the only one who mattered.
1452
01:26:02,992 --> 01:26:04,828
But every one of us was...
1453
01:26:05,036 --> 01:26:07,080
[TN]
1454
01:26:07,372 --> 01:26:09,374
a prince...
1455
01:26:15,255 --> 01:26:16,506
a princess...
1456
01:26:22,387 --> 01:26:24,222
a child...
1457
01:26:29,811 --> 01:26:30,854
a grown-up...
1458
01:26:31,020 --> 01:26:33,064
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
1459
01:26:34,607 --> 01:26:36,693
someone cool.
1460
01:26:39,070 --> 01:26:41,614
If you and Verge can't get home
at a reasonable hour,
1461
01:26:41,781 --> 01:26:43,825
there's no Twitter for a month.
1462
01:26:43,992 --> 01:26:46,619
Oh, that's so unfair.
1463
01:26:46,786 --> 01:26:49,831
You're gonna let your daughter
ground you like that?
1464
01:26:49,998 --> 01:26:52,083
Yeah, good luck with that.
1465
01:26:57,005 --> 01:27:00,925
Sander saw no future for us
because he lived in the past.
1466
01:27:02,176 --> 01:27:04,387
So his experiment
was to end time itself.
1467
01:27:06,723 --> 01:27:08,725
But we now know
the greatest experiment
1468
01:27:08,892 --> 01:27:12,270
isn't traveling through time
or making bombs.
1469
01:27:18,443 --> 01:27:20,236
The only way to change the past...
1470
01:27:23,156 --> 01:27:24,449
is to change the present.
1471
01:27:24,616 --> 01:27:29,829
So Sander was wrong. Even if Grizzly
Lake is lame, it's just a start.
1472
01:27:30,079 --> 01:27:32,415
A beginning, not an end.
1473
01:27:32,582 --> 01:27:36,127
And... And...
1474
01:27:37,754 --> 01:27:40,048
I can't think to this song.
1475
01:27:48,056 --> 01:27:51,351
WOMAN [ON TV]: We're live in Grizzly
Lake where what appears to be a UFO
1476
01:27:51,517 --> 01:27:54,145
is descending
on a suburban commun--
1477
01:27:54,562 --> 01:27:57,815
GORD [ON TV]: I am a spokesman for the
race alien to your planet Earth.
1478
01:27:57,982 --> 01:28:02,153
First, we assimilated Canada and I
took the exact form of a Canadian.
1479
01:28:02,320 --> 01:28:04,322
I am part of a vegetable species.
1480
01:28:04,489 --> 01:28:06,658
You stupid humans
eat our sons and daughters
1481
01:28:06,824 --> 01:28:08,618
because you have
no self-confidence
1482
01:28:09,118 --> 01:28:13,122
RILEY: It's just high school.
It's not the end of the world.
1483
01:28:13,289 --> 01:28:16,125
[TV ON THE RADIO'S
"WOLF LIKE ME" PLAYING]
1484
01:28:24,384 --> 01:28:26,761
J' Say, say, my playmate J'
1485
01:28:26,928 --> 01:28:29,514
J' Won't you lay hands on me J'
1486
01:28:29,681 --> 01:28:32,141
J' Mirror my melody J'
1487
01:28:32,308 --> 01:28:34,936
J' Transfer my tragedy? J'
1488
01:28:35,103 --> 01:28:37,689
J' Got a curse I cannot lift J'
1489
01:28:37,855 --> 01:28:40,358
J' Shines when the sunset shifts J'
1490
01:28:40,525 --> 01:28:45,154
J' When the moon is round and full
Gotta bust that box, gotta gut that fish J'
1491
01:28:45,321 --> 01:28:48,783
J' My mind's aflame
We could jet in a stolen car J'
1492
01:28:48,950 --> 01:28:53,496
J' But I bet we wouldn't get too far
Before the transformation takes J'
1493
01:28:53,663 --> 01:28:56,207
J' And bloodlust tanks
And crave gets slaked J'
1494
01:28:56,374 --> 01:29:00,920
J' My mind has changed
My body's frame, but, God, I like it J'
1495
01:29:01,087 --> 01:29:06,426
J' My heart's aflame
My body's strained, but, God, I like it J'
1496
01:29:06,592 --> 01:29:11,806
J' My mind has changed
My body's frame, but, God, I like it J'
1497
01:29:11,973 --> 01:29:17,478
J' My heart's aflame
My body's strained, but, God, I like it J'
1498
01:29:18,730 --> 01:29:24,027
J' Charge me your day rate
I'll turn you out in kind J'
1499
01:29:24,193 --> 01:29:26,195
J' When the moon is round and full J'
1500
01:29:26,362 --> 01:29:29,699
J' Gonna teach you tricks
That'll blow your mongrel mind J'
1501
01:29:29,866 --> 01:29:35,079
J' Baby doll, I recognize
You're a hideous thing inside J'
1502
01:29:35,246 --> 01:29:39,167
J' If ever there were a lucky kind
It's you, you, you, you J'
1503
01:29:39,333 --> 01:29:44,547
J' I know it's strange
Another way to get to know you J'
1504
01:29:44,714 --> 01:29:49,969
J' You'll never know unless we go
So let me show you J'
1505
01:29:50,136 --> 01:29:55,475
J' I know it's strange
Another way to get to know you J'
1506
01:29:55,641 --> 01:29:58,269
J' We've got till noon
Here comes the moon J'
1507
01:29:58,436 --> 01:30:03,608
J' So let it show you, show you now N
1508
01:30:04,067 --> 01:30:07,070
[FRANKIE ROSE AND THE OUTS'
"YOU'RE NO GOOD" PLAYING]
1509
01:30:07,236 --> 01:30:11,282
J' Feelin' better
Now that we're through J'
1510
01:30:11,449 --> 01:30:15,036
J' Feelin' better
'Cause I'm over you J'
1511
01:30:15,203 --> 01:30:19,373
J' I've learned my lesson
It left a scar J'
1512
01:30:19,540 --> 01:30:22,960
J' Now I know how you really are J'
1513
01:30:23,127 --> 01:30:26,172
J' You're no good, you're no good
You're no good J'
1514
01:30:26,339 --> 01:30:28,466
J' Baby, you're no good J'
1515
01:30:31,302 --> 01:30:34,430
J' You're no good, you're no good
You're no good J'
1516
01:30:34,597 --> 01:30:36,891
J' Baby, you're no good J'
1517
01:30:40,728 --> 01:30:43,523
J' I broke a heart
That's gentle and true J'
1518
01:30:43,689 --> 01:30:48,444
J' Uh-huh, I broke a heart
Over someone like you J'
1519
01:30:48,611 --> 01:30:52,490
J' I'll beg his forgiveness
On bended knee J'
1520
01:30:52,657 --> 01:30:56,035
J' I wouldn't blame him
If he said to me J'
1521
01:30:56,202 --> 01:30:59,330
J' You're no good, you're no good
You're no good J'
1522
01:30:59,497 --> 01:31:01,541
J' Baby, you're no good J'
1523
01:31:04,627 --> 01:31:07,505
J' You're no good, you're no good
You're no good J'
1524
01:31:07,672 --> 01:31:10,174
J' Baby, you're no good N'
1525
01:31:46,502 --> 01:31:48,838
[TN]